Twenty

                                    

                                          

Electricity jolted through me as I felt Gerards lips upon mine. 
I felt like I was in heaven.
I could not believe that Gerard was kissing me, I-
                          
"Stop," Gerard pulled away.
"I'm sorry, Y/N, I haven't told you something."
W-what?
Is it good or bad? Fuck! I've messed it up.
I know I have!
"I-I have a girlfriend."
                          
My heart shattered into thousands of tiny pieces. I could not describe the amount of pain I felt, Its like-
"I'm sorry Y/N, I have had this girlfriend for over 4 months and I-"
4 months..
How long.
"Why didn't you tell me." I tried to hide the dissapointment in my voice.
It wasnt so much a question, it was more of a telling off.
"I- I was scared.. I dont k-know."
Gerard twiddled his thumbs together.
I smiled.
"You're not mad?" 
I am mad, actually. Im hurt, upset, and mad.
Im angry.
He didnt notice though.
"Of course not. By the way, that was just an accident, right?" It hurt to say that. "Anyway, what's her name?"
Gerard sighed in relief.  "Her names Eliza."
Eliza? I hadnt heard that name before.
"Where does she come from?" I asked, getting of Gerards lap and walking over to his bed.
I'm about to cry any moment.
Of for fucks sake, I'm such a pussy.
"She lives thirty mins away-" Gerard began, but then a phone started ringing.
It was mine, i knew the ringtone.
"Sorry." I mumbled and scrambled to my feet.
My phone was next to Gerard, he passed it over.
The caller was named, 'Aunt I dont Fucking Know Her Name Aunt.'
"Uh, hello?" 
Aunt: Hello, Y/N.
Y/N: who is this?
Aunt: Aunt Mary. I am calling you to say you are staying with us.
                          
Aunt Mary. I fucking know her. She was a drug addict and always was horrible to my mother. She had a big, scary husband who probaby did drugs as well. Why the fuck is she telling me this?
Y/N: what? 
Aunt: You have seemed to be luving at this other house, Y/N. I am coming over soon, to pick you up, becuase i said before, you are coming to live with us.
Y/N: you mean- moving away? Where do you live? F-
Aunt: New York. We are close. See you soon, Y/N.
                          
The call ended and I dropped my phone.
My face went pale and I shakily put my hands against my face.
Im moving away. 
Different school.
Different place.
"What's wrong Y/N? You look sick." Gerard stood up.
"Gerard, no. Fucking no." I backed away from him.
"Fuck off. Just go away." Why am I being so rude? 
Oh yeah, I had my heart broken, and now i get a call that I'm moving to fucking New York with my Aunt.
"Y/N! What did i do?" Gerard had confusion spread across his face.
"I need to leave. Im leaving. Im going Gerard, I'm going to New York." I rushed to get my stuff,
"Y/N, what did I do? Who was on the  phone? Youre leaving with them? Y/N where are yo-" My blood was boiling.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, GERARD!" I screamed. The hot tears ran down my face. 
"Y/N, the fuck is wrong with you?! Your so pissed for nothing! I'm telling you, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LEAVING? I care about you, and you're just leaving without warning?!"
"Fuck yourself, Gerard! Fucking fuck yourself you motherfucking asshole! I dont wanna say, I-"
I carried on shoutung nosense.
Tears were streamibg down both of out faces.
"I DO CARE IF YOU'RE LEAVING!" I could feel the anger and hurt radiating of him.
"WHY WOULD YOU?!" 
"BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE YOU, Y/N!"
...
...
"What?" My vocal cords were now worn. 
Did he just say that he loved me? 
"I love you."
                          
I heard a knock on the door and I carried my bag along my shoulder.
"Hm." I was no longer angry now.
I was just a bundle of confusion and hurt.
"You're leaving." Gerard whispered.
He now was just siliently crying.
"Bye, Gee." I began taking steps to the door.
"Wait, Y/N." 
I turned around and Gerard walked up to me.
I put my hands on his cheeks and wiped away the tears that were coming from his hazel eyes.
"I love you too, Gerard. More than anything in this world."
He smiled.
That would be the last time i saw that smile.
We leaned in.
And we kissed.
Just once again for the final time.
This kiss was different from the last.
It was filled with- how do i describe it? 
I knew Gerard didn't want me to leave, And i know i didnt too.
It was like we were holding on for out dear lives, like we were putting all the energy we had left in our bodies before we would die into this final kiss.
Gerard pulled away.
"Remeber that." He felt my hair and I nodded.
"Just know that I will always love you." 
I heard another knock on the door.
"Goobye, Gerard." 
I took my hand away from his.
I walked to the door and opened it.
There she was. 
And behind her, was a big scary man.
Aunt Mary peeked over my head and saw Gerard stood there staring at me.
"Let's go." I stepped out the door.
I took steps to the car.
I was leaving all my friends.
Frank, Lindsey, Ray, Mikey, And-
Gerard.
I shut the car door and did my seat belt up.
I could still see Gerard standing in the doorway.
His pale skin, his greasy black hair, his tiny teeth, his pointy nose, his sense of style..
everything was just sifferent about him from other people.
But he was perfect.
                          
The car started and drove off slowly.
The last of Gerard i saw was his eyes.
                          
Those hazel eyes.