Lost

                                    

                                          
 Trini's PoV 
I was laying in bed, tossing and turning and desperate for some amount of comfort. I clawed at the quilt, desperately searching it for safety. The minute I closed my eyes the smell of seawater overcame my nostrils and I felt sharp claws on my throat, and heard words so bitter she might as well have poisoned them. I got out of the bed, my head spinning and climbed out of the window, making my way towards the park.
                          
My walk there was silent, uneventful and felt too much like death. The lights flickered on as I walked past them and I thought about how I was so used to sparks dying out. I climbed the multi coloured jungle gym, my legs dangling off the top and took out a joint I had rolled previously, using a lighter, I burned the tip and took a long drag. The smoke burned the back of my throat, but with each puff my body felt lighter and my thoughts hazier, I didn't sense anything but the bitter smoke itching my insides and I wasn't living anywhere but in the moment, I felt free. 
                          
The air whipped around me angrily, and my teeth chattered, my thin t shirt did nothing to protect me from the cold but when I compared it to the ice inside me the weather seemed almost desirable. 
                          
I unscrewed the lid off my flask and took a sip and my throat was burning, it felt raw, I could taste the disgusting taste of liquor in my mouth and I hated it, but at the same time, I loved it. It was so easy to lose myself into this hopeful oblivion rather than facing the truths. I jumped off the jungle gym clumsily and started taking unsure steps towards an unsure destination, and in the midst of this unsure time, I found myself calling Kimberly Hart.
                          
I caught hold of the swings chain and sat myself down, my phone rang twice before I heard a voice answer. The voice was tired and unclear but full of frantic worry. "Trini, are you alright?" I heard and giggled. The voice sighed before worry overcame it again, "Trini, its 3:37 am, why are you awake?"
                          
"Kim?" I asked, recognising the voice finally, "Trini where are you?" She asked. I placed my cheek against the cold chain and smiled, taking another sip from my flask. "Kim, I think Im going to get a tattoo, im bored and alive and I think I want to get the lightning bolt you drew in detention tattooed because have you seen that movie the dead poets society, well carpe fucking deim right." I laughed emptily into the phone.
                          
Her voice was more urgent now, she sounded more awake, "Trini where are you, tell me please." I studied my surroundings, "Im at the park by our school, why do you ask?" 
Kimberly started to say something but stopped, "I want to get a tattoo with you Trins." She whispered.
                          
I laughed again, she wanted to get a tattoo with me, "Hey Kim?" I said taking a couple of more sips, "Kim I really love it when you call me Trins." I strained to hear her reply, "just stay where you are okay...Trins." She added as almost an afterthought and I found myself nodding mindlessly, unaware that she couldnt see me and drowned myself in the rest of the contents of my flask.
**************************************
I woke up warm for a change, without the usual fear that eats at me in the morning. I felt a pair of arms wrapped around me loosely and the smell of lavender was strong. The room was overwhelmingly pink and I was suddenly aware of where I was. I detached myself from Kimberly's arms as gently as I could but with no luck because she woke up. 
                          
"I never took you for one to leave a girl in bed." She joked, her voice husky, it sounded hotter than anything Id ever heard. I tried to fake a smile but my anxiety gave me away. "You want to know what happened last night?" She asked, her voice suddenly serious. I nodded slightly, chewing the insides of my cheeks.
                          
"How much do you remember." She sighed. "I remember till the end of our call, my minds pretty much blank after that." I said, sitting down on the edge of her bed. She rubbed her eyes slightly before looking back at me, I could feel her trying to formulate her sentences before giving up.