24

                                    

                                          
LAUREN JAUREGUI POV
                          
Listening to the whistle of the wind going past my head is a very soothing sound, more soothing than crying or silence. It's been about three hours since I left the house, and I have no idea where I am. I left them all, I left them all alone because I was too scared to try. I'll make a life for myself away from the people I most care about in the world. 
                          
This was for their safety, not mine. 
                          
———
Three Years Later



                          
"Mary Fucking Christmas Laur," Cadence spoke, coming down the stairs of our apartment. 
                          
"Geez be a little bit more kind, it's the lords birthday," I reply with a smirk. She shoots me a look while I sit on the couch and laugh. 
                          
Cadence isn't a girlfriend, nor a friend. She was a roommate with benefits. That's right, we have sex almost every other night. I never settled down with anyone, and I never planned on doing it. The world has a problem with me and relationships apparently.
                          
Cadence was one of the only people in my life that knew about my past. It was only three years ago, but damn it felt like 10. It comes to no ones surprise that I shut myself off from emotional attachment to people or things, nothing really matters to me in the long run.
                          
It was 3pm on christmas day and she had just gotten up from bed. She was going to her family's house for dinner, while I was invited, I declined because I wanted to stay in all night wallowing in my self pity. That was a habit of mine lately. 
                          
"At least go out to the bar or something, don't be a deby downer," Cadence spoke as she sat next to me. 
                          
"Well, I would but it's so comfortable here all alone," I fake whined. Cadence just rolled her eyes and opened her phone.
                          
-
                          
This was a quiet place, and surprisingly it was open on christmas. It was warm and inviting which were two things I liked. 
                          
"Miss?" a lady says, tapping my shoulder.
                          
"Oh, sorry," I respond moving out of the way so the lady with the cart of books could go past. I was looking at the romance section of the library, funny right? How I refuse to be in a relationship but yet, here I am in the core of all relationships. 
                          
I felt my phone buzz and took it out of my pocket. 
                          
Outside. Now
                          
It was from an unknown number, one I've seen before, but not one I had in my contacts. I walked out to the front of the library, god it was fucking cold. 
                          
"Lauren Jauregui......?" a man said behind me.
                          
"Yes?" I call out turning around.
                          
"I'm Nathan, I went to middleschool with you." 
                          
I remembered him. He was my first ever boyfriend that lasted about three days before I realized it wasn't for me. 
                          
"Nathan?" I ask shocked.
                          
"Sadly yes."
                          
"Why sadly?"
                          
"Why not sad? The world's being a dick to me," The man said. I laughed and nodded. 
                          
"It was nice to see you again, but I have to go..." I say. He nods and mutters a bye.
                          
I walked a little further when I saw him... 
                          
"How on earth did you find me?" I say with a cheeky grin.
                          
"Practice love, practice," He replied softly.
                          
"Bradford it's been a while."
                          
"Sure has, I've missed you," he said, coming up to hug me.
                          
"Bradford-" I begin before he cut me off
                          
"She's fine now. She was... not good the year after you left. But she's sorta okay now."
                          
I sighed knowing I did this to her. "Zayn..."
                          
"Don't. I know why you did it. It didn't help, Lucy got to your fa-" before he could finish I cut him off.
                          
"WHAT?!"
                          
"Calm down, they're fine." 
                          
"I was so fucking stupid..." I sighed and sat down on an oddly shaped bench.
                          
"Yeah, we've all done fucked up shit in our lives but nows not the time to regret it," he muttered taking a seat next to me. We fell into a comfortable silence knowing pretty much what the other was thinking, when you've been bestfriends for as long as us you'd start getting on the same wave length of our undeniably weird ass thoughts. 
                          
"Tell me about your life at this minute Laur, I need to know what my bestfriend has been up to," Zayn says looking over at me.
                          
"Well, I live in NewYork, I'm 27 years old, I have a fuck buddy/rommate named Cadence, I work at a coffee shop in time square, then I come home and smoke for the rest of the day, then I go to bed and repeat because god knows how much I miss her. Wow, I realized a year after I left how much I miss her, I went on a few dates but the only thing on my mind was the thing I couldn't get. I mean, it's all fucked up you know? All this gang shit, I fell in love so fucking quickly and I hate myself for it, I was never one to fall in love quickly, I don't do that. But I did, I fell in love with somebody while my ex decided it'd be a perfect time to go all psycho and try and kill me. God I'm rambling, I'm sorry, I should stop talking but I think I needed to get that out for a while? And I don't know maybe I miss you and her and maybe I just need some sor-" I was cut off by Zayns phone going off, he looked at me and signaled he needed to take it. I just nodded and sat there.
                          
After a few minutes he came back with a smile. "What?" I asked, standing up.
                          
"Look behind you Laur," was all he said. My head whipped around and there in front of my eyes was the blue Rolls Royce that I grew so attached to.
                          
The door of the car opened and there before my eyes stood the person I needed to see in my life the most.
                          
"Camz?"
                          
-
a/n
it's been a while sigh