Now - Michael
"Please." She says, her eyes silently begging me to listen to her and accept her help.
And I want to. Fuck, I really want to.
But like the asshole I am, I push past her and head towards my coat. I grab and begin to slide my arms into the sleeves. I ignore her pleas and I shake off her hands whenever she tries to grab my hand or arm. I put my shoes on and grab my keys. I can hear her following every step I make as I open the door and exit. She catches the door when I attempt to slam it behind me.
"Where are you going?" She asks, her voice demanding as she follows behind me. "Mike?"
I don't answer. I just head towards my truck and get into the driver's seat. I slam my door shut, locking it before she can get in too.
"Mike?" She says through the closed window. "Mike, where are you going?"
I ignore her again and attempt to start the truck, it chugs as I try to turn it over a few times before roaring to life. I lift my head up and see Ella standing in front of the truck. Her eyes are desperate and her mouth is twisted into a frown of disappointment. Even from here, I can see her shivering and I want to get out of the truck, wrap my arms around her and make her go inside.
But I don't.
Instead, I yell at her from inside the truck. "Move, Ella," I yell, making my voice devoid of any emotion.
"No. I won't let you go, Mike." She states, placing her hands on the hood of the truck as if she is physically holding it there.
"Fucking move, woman," I growl between gritted teeth.
"Make me." She smirks.
"Fuck." I curse as I unlock the truck and step out, taking giant steps towards her. "Get in the fucking house before you get sick, Ella."
"No. I'm not letting you leave." She says, her voice confident but her eyes betray her. They always betray her.
"I'm leaving whether you like it or not, now move," I say.
"No." She says, crossing her arms defiantly.
"Fuck, woman! Why do you have to make this shit so difficult?!" I yell, taking a threatening step towards her.
"Because I'm not letting you go. At least not that easy." She says calmly, but I know she is anything but calm.
I chuckle humorlessly. "Get the fuck out of my way, Ella," I say lowly.
"No!" She screams. "I won't let you throw all this away for some fucking drink!" She gestures to herself and the house behind her. "I won't let you give up! I won't, Mike, I won't!"
"Why the fuck not? I don't want this! I don't want you! Just leave me the fuck alone and leave already!" I scream the untruthful words, my heart breaking as they leave me.
A look of hurt and shock crosses her face, but she shakes it away. "I don't believe you." She whispers.
"You should."
"No, I'm not letting you push me away-"
"Just leave, Ella. Take Ty and leave." I interrupt.
"No." She says.
"I don't want this. I don't want you. I don't choose you." I continue.
"No."
"I'm done with you. You aren't enough to make me stay sober."
"No!" She cries out, pushing me with all her might. "You fucking asshole, no!" She pushes me again. "You don't mean it!"
"Yes, I do."
"No, you don't! I know you don't! I know you love us. I know you do." She sobs. "I know you do."
"I don't." I lie.
"You do." She says between cries. "You do. Quit pushing me away. Fight for us, Mike. Fight for me! Fight for me, God dammit!"
"I can't."
"You can!" She wails as she slams her small fists on my chest. "You can, you just won't. Why won't you, Mike? Why won't you?"
She's desperate and emotional as she continues to push on my chest and hit me. The sight of her is something I wish I could unsee. I just want to wrap her in my arms and tell her everything will be alright. I want to promise her everything she wants and deserves to hear.
But I don't.
Why don't I?
Why can't I give her what she wants?
YOU ARE READING
Unsteady (COMPLETED)
ChickLitThe story of a girl who grows up with an alcoholic for a father, only to marry an alcoholic for a husband. ~~~~~ The walk to the school would be fifteen minutes, on a good day. Today, however, I managed to get there in seven. As soon as I walked on...
