19

                                    

                                          
The next morning I had a pounding headache and another body cuddled into my side. I didn't opened my eyes though and I didn't want to get up, even though I was uncomfortable, because I knew what day it was.
                          
New Years Day.
                          
I thought if I just stayed here in bed, I wouldn't have to get up and say goodbye to Louis and I could just avoid it. But I knew I had to say goodbye to him, and now I feel bad seeing him because he probably had to sleep on the sofa last night. Ken and I were way too wild.
                          
But I opened my eyes anyways and looked up at my fan that spun around and around. My hand started to move in the hair that was tickling my neck. I then looked over and snatched my hand away.
                          
I sat up really fast and that woke Louis up.
                          
Louis rubbed his eyes and looked over at me.
                          
"What's wrong?" he asked.
                          
"Did Ken leave in the middle of the night or something?" I asked. "I thought you'd be downstairs. I started rubbing your head because I thought you were Ken."
                          
"Uh." he said sitting up. "Ken was never here last night. Just you and me."
                          
"What?" I asked.
                          
"Yeah." Louis nodded and fixed his hair.
                          
That's when I saw it... a hickey in the exact spot I always go for... and realization hit me.
                          
I looked under the covers and saw two dicks laying about openly. I quickly looked up again and scooted farther away from Louis.
                          
"Louis." I asked in a whisper.
                          
"Yeah?"
                          
"Did we-" I spoke not knowing if I could say it... but I pushed it out of my throat anyways. "Did we have sex last night?"
                          
"Yeah." Louis nodded and I thought I was going to be sick.
                          
I got up and ran for my bathroom. I bent down and started to throw up into the toilet. Most of it was from my hangover, but the other was from me fucking a dude.
                          
I soon felt hands rubbing my back and I swatted them away, but they continued as I threw up again into the bowl.
                          
About five minutes later I was done and walking back to my bed to lay down.
                          
Louis, who was now in shorts, followed and sat down at the edge of the bed so he could see my face.
                          
"Was that because of me?" he asked and I couldn't bare to say yes, so I said no.
                          
"No." I said shaking my head. "It was from the hangover."
                          
Louis nodded, but I knew he didn't believe me. I could see it on his face.
                          
"Well." he sighed. "Last night I planned to talk to you after we woke up."
                          
"What about?" I asked not looking him in the eyes. I just wanted this to be over.
                          
"Uh-" he said and paused. "-This is really hard for me to talk about Harry. You really really hurt me last night."
                          
"Physically?" I asked looking at him. "Did I leave bruises or something? I tend to get rough when I'm drunk."
                          
"No." he said shaking his head. "Emotionally."
                          
"How?" I asked confused.
                          
"You called me Lottie when you finished."
                          
I froze dead in my spot.
                          
Louis kept looking at me and I didn't move.
                          
"I was really drunk too last night, so I went along with it when you started kissing me. I was confused, but went along with it. I thought we were doing something great, that you liked me all this time and you were sad I was leaving. But then you finished, and you said, 'You're so beautiful. I love you Lottie.' and then you kissed my lips and got off of me and went to sleep. Do you even know how that makes me feel about myself Harry?"
                          
I didn't know what to say, so I stayed silent.
                          
"Then I got to thinking... are you only going to miss me because I look like Lottie? Is this all some sick trip of yours? You want me here to cuddle you so your with Lottie. Or take care of your daughter and be her mom? Is that what this is? If it is, then I don't want to be apart of it."
                          
I bit my lip.
                          
"So it's true?" he asked and he then got up, put a tee-shirt on, shoes on, and grabbed his bag for his flight. He then turned. "Are you just going to sit there and not say anything to me?"
                          
I still didn't say a word.
                          
So much was flying around in my head.
                          
"Fuck you Harry." He spoke and then slammed my door shut.
                          
I heard him say goodbye to my mom and Gemma and then I heard him leave.
                          
What the fuck did I do?
                          
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Please like and comment! ~Ash