An Apology

                                    

                                          
I know that I can't undo what I've done and that 'sorry' isn't enough for the pain I've caused you. A lot of you.
I hope that my explanation could serve as closure to those that deserve one. 
Most of you got hurt because either one of us messed up and one of us left the other hanging. 
In most of these cases, I was the one who left. A few of you stayed. I don't blame anybody for leaving as well. It's alright.
I was confused and a little bit broken. I needed distractions and loads of you fit in that time-frame. I don't know why I had to drag you into my mess. I am so sorry for using you. 
I was bored. I was in the process of finding myself and I still am trying to understand my whole being. I ended up hurting other people. 
Knowing that some of you will never be the same kills me now. How I've led some of you on and that whoever the next person you're going to like/befriend, you'd be afraid because 
you'd think it'll all happen again. I knew some of you were already hurt and I added on to that. I - 
Please, give the next person the same amount of trust and love that you gave me. They deserve it more than I ever did. Give them a chance as well. Although, I am ashamed and scared to know how I'd be described in your stories, it's okay. Share your experience. 
I know how sucky it feels to leave but what's even shittier is if you were the one left behind. 
I would like to think that I gave you a little bit of happiness but I was only your friend for a season. I am sorry that I had to cut things off. I just had to flee. 
Please don't think it was completely your fault. I have had my piece as well. 
I am not asking for forgiveness nor do I ask of you to accept my apology.
This is the closure that I never gave.
Thank you for hearing me out.
Most of you won't see this but if somehow, you come across it, I apologize for all the wrongs I've done to you. 
I hope you are all well.