Chapter 38

                                    

                                          
HARRY P.O.V
                          
"What's going on?" I see Louis standing by the door.
                          
"She woke up." Mariana smiles with tears in her eyes.
                          
Louis leaves the coffees on the table and Walks to Selena but Mariana stops him. "No, she just woke up give her time, we don't want to ambush her and stress her out."
                          
He nods in agreement.
__________
                          
"Did you call Mandy?" I ask Louis.
                          
"Yeah, she's on her way with Maddy." He takes a sit next to me.
                          
"I told Kendall about Maddy." I break the silence.
                          
"You did? How did she react?" 
                          
"Yeah, Maddy woke up before I did, Kendall arrived home and caught her in her closet playing dress up." I smile at the image I had of Maddy just staring at us with her innocent look and face painted with bright red lipstick. "She woke me up and asked who she was and I told her, at first she was upset and said some awful things, I ended up exploding which lead to me telling her things I've kept inside but at the end she understood were we stand." I think I always new were I stood.
                          
He changes his sitting position to face me. "And where do you guys stand?" 
                          
"Not together." I play with one of my rings and wonder what's going to happen now?
                          
"Did she give you the ring?" 
                          
"No, we didn't think about who's going to keep the ring, what is going to happen with the loft or anything because she actually kicked me out and told me to come see her." I turnt to Selena's room and find her talking with her sister.
                          
I haven't spoken to her because if I stand in front of her I will loose it, she could've died;she would've of left us and right now I need to be sane and strong for Maddy because of her upcoming surgery she needs her dad;she needs me.
                          
"I'm sorry Harry, I know I should of told you about Maddy but I couldn't do that to Selena, she needed me and the only way I could've been there for her was by not telling you or anyone because you know the boys didn't know anything either. I felt like she needed all my loyalty and if I didn't give to her when we were together, I could give it to her now as a friend and then She would keep me updated with pictures and we would use face time whenever she would go get ultrasounds that way I wouldn't miss anything."  
                          
And I missed everything.
                          
"I was already so attached that I flew to New York weeks before the day so I wouldn't miss the birth." 
                          
I also missed.
                          
"When I saw her give birth, when I cut the cord and got to hold her my heart was stolen for the third time but for the second time it was a Gomez that stole it and I realized that I couldn't detach my self from her and that I couldn't just be her mothers friend or her uncle I had to be more than that, that's when I told Selena I wanted to give her my last name and take on the father role, of course Selena didn't want to but I ended up convincing her. After that I then couldn't tell you at all because Selena trusted me enough to let me be there for them but then the situation with Maddy happened and the doctor told us that there's was nothing he could do so when the day of the party came and you were there, I saw how fast and easily Maddy got comfortable around you; she wouldn't wouldn't leave you alone. I knew she had to tell you."
                          
It's like she knew she could be comfortable with me and be around me.
                          
"I forgive both you, with everything that happened I realized I can't be angry at anybody, all I have to do now is be there for my daughter and try to be the father that she deserves and learn how to coparent with both of you because I don't plan on kicking you out of her life;you been there longer than I have, you're her everything; you're her father." It's true can't just take him away from her because to her his her father and his all she knows.
                          
"Do you love her?" I blurt. 
                          
It's just the way he talked about them was like he is still in love with Selena, that I just had to ask.
                          
"Harry I loved her. I loved her so much that-" he stops him self from saying more. "I don't love her not the way I used to." 
                          
"What were you going to say?" He was going to say something but didn't.
                          
He shakes his head.
                          
"I loved her so much that?" He keeps quiet. "That what?" I press him to answer.
                          
He sights.
                          
"I loved her so much that when she told me she wanted to have another baby, I was willing to give her what she wanted." He looks away.
                          
"She wanted to have a baby with you?" They were going a baby..so Selena is in love with him?
                          
" I don't think she wanted to have baby with me but I was there and she needed me for it to happen but it was all because of what was going on with Maddy so when we were going to she just couldn't and I couldn't either but I was willing to for her but I was more willing to do it when I thought about a part of me growing inside of her and this time giving that little human being the chance to live. I know that even tho Selena didn't want to replace Maddy she did wanted to replace the pain with the happiness of another human being in her but honestly I think I did want to replace the pain I felt when I couldn't decide for our baby."
                          
I realized Louis deep down was hurt and not fully over it but once again he put everything aside for her because that's how much he cares for her and that's how important she is for him.
                          
"She really tried to not be a teen mother but then I came." 
                          
"Literally." Louis adds and we laugh.
                          
"What are you guys laughing about?" Mariana stands in front of us.
                          
"Nothing really, what's up?" Louis responds.
                          
"My mom is here with Maddy, she has to check in  later today because she's staying tonight for surgery tomorrow so who's going tell Sel about her daughter , the three of us or you two together." She asks.
                          
"Harry what do you think?" Louis asks me.
                          
For some reason I feel like it's not my place to decide but it is because I'm part of this too.
                          
"Why don't we all tell her?" I look between Louis and Mariana.
                          
"That works for me." Louis agrees.
                          
"Alright then, let me go meet my mom and will tell her." She starts to walk away but stops and turns to us. "She's awake so if you two want to go see her, you can." She leaves.
                          
"You can go first." Louis offers.
                          
I walk in and I see her eyes are closed..she's sleeping I'll come back later.
                          
"Harry?"