[NSFW] Feared Lovin' ~ South Italy X Reader

                                    

                                          
Notes: FUCKING NYOTALIA! I swear I'm fucking addicted to Nyotalia now and it doesn't help that there's so little fanfics...
                          
Also Modern Au again.
                          
[Warning: Mature Language, Sex and a Self harming technique mentioned and implied that gay women do when they can't accept being gay.] 
                          
(Y/n)'s POV
"I think we need to break up." 
                          
Antonio blinked in surprise. "I see. May I ask why?" Said Antonio kindly. I wrapped my arms around myself. "I just think it'd be better if we're friends." "(Y/n), I've been with you for 2 years. I know you. There's more, isn't there?" I avoided his eyes. "I..." I could feel tears bubbling up. "I'm sorry." I choked out. "Why?" Said Antonio rubbing my arm soothingly. "I thought I loved you but I never did. That's because I..." I hiccuped and started crying. 
                          
"I'm gay Antonio. And I'm gay for Chiara, your friend. I'm sorry."
                          
Time Skip
I lay in bed emotionless. The random man I had a one stand with had already left hours ago.
                          
I couldn't accept it.
                          
I can't be gay. 
                          
A knock came from my door. "It's Antonio. Can I come in?" Said Antonio from the other side of the door. He had a spare key to my house. I didn't bother and cover myself. "Do what you want."
                          
Antonio walked in and sighed. He had seen me naked before. I didn't care. "Again?" He said. "You can't force yourself to be straight. You know that." He said. "How many times have you done this?" Said Antonio rhetorically. "32. And counting." I said. He sighed and went into my bathroom, before long I heard water running. When he came out, he walked over to me. "C'mon. Bath time." He said lifting up in his arms almost like I weighed nothing. "You've lost weight. Have you even been eating?" Asked Antonio worried as he walked into my bathroom. I said nothing. He sighed as he gently laid me in the bath.
                          
Silently he cleaned me up. After our breakup, he had taken up the role of caring for me as my health and mood had plummeted. He had been so understanding. After the breakup, I had subjected myself to one night stands with men I didn't know. I was torturing myself because I couldn't even accept the fact that I was gay.
                          
After I had clothes on, Antonio pulled me out to eat. I sat with him at a Cafe, a sandwich in front of me uneaten while I sipped on some tea. "You need to eat Amiga." Sighed Antonio. I sighed and looked away.
                          
"Toni! Hey!" "Oh hey Felicia! Hey Chiara!" "Shut up tomato bastard." I kept my eyes on my tea. "It's so nice to see you!" "Same here Felicia!" "Who's the ragazza?" I was leaning forward to put my cup of tea down when I looked up to see who spoke for my eyes to lock with honey auburn eyes with green flecks in them. My breathing hitched as my heart started to pound in my chest while my face flushed red. "H-Hi." I squeaked. She didn't recognise me. The girl blushed at my reaction. "Chiara, It's (Y/n)! Don't you recognise her?" Introduced Antonio, smiling as he noticed my flushed face. A scowl donned her soft looking lips that I wanted to kiss. "Oh. The bitch that broke your heart after two years?" Said Chiara. My heart stopped and shattered. I looked down. "Chiara! She has her own reasons and the two seemed to be getting along! Leave her alone!" Exclaimed Felicia. "I don't fucking care. She told him she hadn't loved him at all, that cold hearted bitch." I dropped my cup. "I didn't tell you the whole story to keep her privacy! You shouldn't assume things!" Exclaimed Antonio worried. "I best be on my way then. It's clear I'm not welcome." I said, keeping my head down as I got up and started to walk away.