I tense up, but then melt into the kiss. Is he actually kissing me? My heart flutters as he pulls away. I feel my cheeks heat up when I look him the eye. The kiss was short, but it meant everything. His lips were softer than I imagined. I smelt coffee and vanilla as he got closer. He actually kissed me. I feel myself smile. He smiles in response and says, "I have to go, Dan. Tonight's been fun. We should hang out again soon." I smile and nod. He kisses my cheek once before turning around and walking the other direction.
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I'm getting ready for bed thinking about all that has happened today. I smile to myself as I take off my shirt. But, my smile falters. Look at you! How could he ever love you? You fat, worthless piece of trash. I look at the mirror once more and decide to open the medicine cabinet. I grab out my small razor and bring it to a new spot; my stomach. I press it against my skin and wince. This area was more sensitive. Good job, Dan. You're doing what you are meant to do! I feel my eyes watering and a single tear lands on a cut. I wince, as that causes more pain and more tears. Nevertheless, I clean the razor, put on my pajamas, and head to sleep.
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I wake up. But I'm not in my apartment...
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I wake up crying and sweating. Another nightmare. The same nightmare. Damnit, Dan, you are worthless and weak. I look at my clock. 3:56. I turn over, wincing at the pain, and try to fall asleep again.
A/N: yes, this one is short. But i promise the next chapter will be a decent length! i also got a request to do a phil POV (thx raytoroisabean ) so i just might! i might not depending on how lazy i am. however, ik this fic is crap but i'm enjoying writing it and i hope you guys enjoy reading it! ps i didn't edit it so sry
xx mak
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Stars // Phan
FanfictionAnd I swear I see the stars in his eyes. ------- Dan's POV italics = his thinking ------- no smut possible trigger warning basically throughout the entire story. please be safe. <3
