15 : Is This Goodbye?

                                    

                                          
Your POV
                          
Two days later I could walk, and I was more than ready to go underground and see Jason. 
Even if it meant for the last time. 
                          
Three guards took me in an elevator to the bottom floor of the hospital, and then I was lead down a long corridor, then another, and then another. 
                          
I memorised everything. 
Everything single detail. 
I would need it. 
                          
Eventually, we came to a steel door. 
I knew who was behind it, and my muscles tensed.
                          
"Wait outside for a moment." One of the guards said. 
He swiped a card along the lock and then entered a combination into the key pad. 
                          
9524 
Don't forget, Y/n. 
                          
The steel door scraped against the floor as it opened, creating an unpleasant screeching sound.   
The guard entered and shut the door behind him, I strained my ears to head the conversation inside. 
                          
"You have a visitor." 
                          
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Jason's voice carried through the air, irritated and unmistakable. "I don't want to see anyone. Send them away." 
My chest tightened and I held my breath, praying the guard could convince him. 
                          
"She has been begging to see you, McCann." 
                          
Silence. 
                          
"Who?" When Jason finally spoke, his voice sounded softer, calmer. 
                          
"Y/n." The guard said simply. 
I bit my lip, feeling my heart thud rapidly against my chest. 
Then, the steel door opened once again and the guard gestured for me to come inside. 
                          
I hesitated. "Can I be alone with him?" 
                          
The guard sighed. "You have ten minutes and ten minutes only. Everything you do and say is recorded." He said as he stepped through the door. 
                          
I took a deep breath, nodded awkwardly and entered. 
                          
The sight in front of me was enough to break the remaining pieces of my heart. 
Jason lay shackled to a single bed in the middle of the room. 
He was looking the other way, hiding his face. His breathing was quick and his muscles were tensed. 
He looked defeated, destroyed and dying.
                          
I took slow, steady steps towards him until I was stood beside his bed. I bit my lip and tried to think of the right words.
There was too much to say. 
I didn't have enough time. 
                          
"You shouldn't have come down here." Jason didn't look at me. 
All I wanted to do was see his face and look in his eyes. 
                          
"Why not?" I whispered, feeling a heavy weight press on my chest. "I needed to see you." 
                          
"You should be resting, healing." He paused and inhaled deeply. "Are you okay?" 
                          
"Me? I-" My voice cracked and I pressed my fingers to my eyes. 
Don't cry, you can't do that to him.
"I'm fine," I managed to choke out. "I'm just worried about you." 
                          
I miss you and I need you and I want you back.
                          
I ran my fingers along his arm and he flinched, then I touched the hold metal cuffs that were restraining Jason. I longed for them to be removed so he could touch me.
"Y/n, there's something I need to tell you." He sucked in a sharp breath and his muscles seized. 
                          
"Are you in pain." I bit down hard on my bottom lip, and blinked back the tears. 
                          
He shuddered. "Not anymore than expected." 
                          
My throat burned. "What is it?"
                          
"I want you to believe me when I tell you this. I know I've said it before, but I love you. I've done something terrible and I know you're going to find out soon. But I really love you, Y/n." 
Nothing existed in the moment except the two of us, and the meaning behind his words. I grabbed his hand and held it tightly in mine, fearing this could be the last time. 
"I just wanted to let you know one more time, before I die." 
                          
It felt like someone sucked all the air out of the room. 
Before I die...
                          
"Look at me, Jason." I whispered. 
                          
"No." 
                          
"Please." My voice cracked. 
                          
After a moment, Jason turned his head slowly and his glossy eyes met mine. 
I gasped at the purple bruises covering his face. 
He was being tortured.
"Please don't come down here again." A tear slipped from the corner of his eye and he squeezed my hand. "Promise me." 
                          
I shook my head and tried hard not to let my own tears fall. "That's not a promise I can make." 
                          
Jason took a shaky breath. "I don't want you to see me like this." He shut his eyes and bit his lip, letting go of my hand and pulling on the shackles gently, just to make a point. 
                          
"Like what? Weak?" I took his hand back. "Jason, you're not weak. Not in my eyes." 
                          
"I didn't want your last memory of me to be this. I wanted you to remember the good times. The times it was just me and you. I don't want you to remember me as a battered boy chained to a bed." His voice cracked and it tore me apart.
                          
"Don't do this." My body shook as I struggled to contain my tears. 
"No matter what happens, I'll always remember you as the man I fell in-" 
I stopped myself, unable to say the words. 
If I did, I knew it would break us both into a billion pieces. 
                          
Jason squeezed his eyes shut.
"Every person lives for something important, a purpose. You're my purpose." 
                          
-------------------
                          
Thanks for reading