6 - Fear

                                    

                                          
 "Ruyi was born this way..."
                          
I could see the veins on his strong muscular forearm that was exposed from the crimson red sleeve of his robe. When his thumb slid against my cheek and touched bottom of my lips, my knees begin to shake.
                          
"You won't last one night in my bed"
                          
I never thought to be in his bed. The night of the wedding, he had clearly sent that message when he spent their bridal night with another woman.
                          
"The Marquess wasn't boasting about you after all"
                          
I didn't understand the meaning behind his words. I was too afraid to move or speak with his thumb stroking my lips. 
                          
"Prepare the meals"
                          
I was in a daze at the sudden loss of his touch until I realized the Prince was already sitting down at the table. He was looking at me amusedly while the servants rushed in and out with the plates of food. Seeing that it was mealtime, I bowed to make my leave.
                          
"Am I so repulsive that you do not want to eat with me?"
                          
He furiously swiped nearest plate on the table and sent it flying in the wall. Everyone instantly went to their knees at the Prince's temper.
                          
"Ruyi can eat here?"
                          
It wasn't until I asked the question that his anger evaporated. His eyes looked at me with confusion and then there was clarity.
                          
"Sit" He said steadily before calmly before he shouted. "Sit here!"
                          
I had thought it was best to seat furthest away from him, but he wanted me in the seat next to him. When the servant quickly placed the bowl of rice in front of me, I took in the sight of the table full of colorful food. It was the first time in my life I've seen so many different kind of dishes. My meals had always simple and colorless.
                          
"Why aren't you eating?" 
                          
Once, I was allowed to join the Marquess Family for dinner. My younger half-brother sneaked food onto my plate before father and grandmother arrived. That night, not only was I denied dinner – I was never again allowed to attend dinner with the family. So because the Prince hadn't picked up his chopsticks, how could I dare to eat? 
                          
As I sat there quietly looking at his hand, his eyes followed mine and saw how they're focused on his hand. He felt amused but lifted his chopsticks. I waited until he took his first bite before I picked up my own chopsticks. Eating the rice in silence, I didn't dare to reach any else on the table. When he put fish onto my bowl, I felt nervous. Still, I thanked him quietly before I continued on eating. And because I focused on eating, I didn't noticed how he was still watching me and how everyone else was watching him.
                          
After the meal, I didn't know what was expected of me. When the maids came with wet towels to clean our hands and tea to rinse our mouth, I accepted it awkwardly with quiet words of thanks. I was never served by anyone before so I wasn't sure what the proper etiquette was. I didn't know my politeness was strange to the Prince and even more so for the servants. 
                          
"Can Ruyi go back to her room?" I asked this time so that he wouldn't be upset.
                          
"Why do you want to go back?" I could hear the annoyance in his cold, deep voice. "The servants told me you haven't stepped foot out of that room since you arrived. What is in there that you refused to come out?"
                          
Then my arm was grabbed hard and I was again faced with an angry Prince.
                          
"Or are you hiding someone?" 
                          
I never knew anyone with a temper as quick as this man. Even my mother with two faces was not this temperament. 
                          
"Answer me!"
                          
His grip on my arm felt like hard steel tightening harder and harder.
                          
"There is no one in Ruyi's room" I confused and scared. 
                          
"Then why are you so quick to go back?" He glared accusingly.
                          
"W_ Where else should Ruyi go?" I was shaking hard while my arm felt like it will break at any moment. "Please tell Ruyi where the Prince wants her to go"
                          
When he finally let go, I almost fell to my knees. Before he could catch me, I moved to leaned against the stone table. Shaken, I didn't dare look up at him. 
                          
"Go"
                          
He was angry and I didn't have the courage to say anything else so I left. When I reached the safety of my room, I closed the door and leaned against it. Lifting up my sleeve, I saw how bruised my arm was. On my pale white skin were several hand prints left by the Prince. My eyes closed tight, I repeated over and over that it didn't hurt. 
                          
It was the same method I used when the pain of the poison became too much to bear.