Chapter Nine

                                    

                                          
You sat on the floor between Hvitserk and Sigurd. Plans for the raid had been finally agreed on and everyone was rushing to prepare. Hvitserk spent almost everyday teaching you, frustrating you when he didn't teach you the same skills as shield maidens but you could defend yourself fairly well and you'd even bested Sigurd once.
                          
You grew closer and while you still didn't interact comfortably there was less awkwardness in the air around you. To outsiders it looked as if you had just first admitted your feelings to each other not that you'd been married for almost a year.
                          
"I plan to go on the raid." Hvitserk muttered as he offered you some of his food.
                          
"Of course you do." Ubbe chuckled and winked when you're happy expression faltered.
                          
"Does Bjorn even know where he is going?" You asked after a moment's thought and all four of the men laughed.
                          
"You sound like Floki." Sigurd joked.
                          
"Are you worried you will miss Hvitserk?" Ivar teased as he pointed at you. You shook your head and glanced at Hvitserk who was gulping down mead from his cup.
                          
"Are you worried you will miss him?" You teased and he rolled his eyes. "I should go and say goodbye to my brothers." You muttered quietly and excused yourself, pulling a face at Ivsr who teased you over the lingering look you exchanged with Hvitserk.
                          


                          
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"(Y/N)!" Someone called as you pulled your furs and cloak around you, hoping to get home before it became too dark to tell where you ended and the ground began.
                          
"Bard?" You muttered and made sure to keep a distance between the two of you.
                          
"I am planning to go on the raid." Bard muttered as he let his hand fall from your waist.
                          
"I hope the Gods bless..." You started but Bard cut you off.
                          
"That is all, a blessing from the gods. Have you wasted all your energy on saying goodbye to Hvitserk?" He snapped and closed in on you, his voice raised and something in the back of your mind screamed at you that he was far to dangerous to be alone with.
                          
"It is none of your business." You bit back and glared at him, hand fumbling for the little dagger that was hidden in your clothes.
                          
"Why, Hvitserk makes you feel bad so you run away?" He grunted and you shook your head, dodging when he tried to swipe at you. He made another attempt and angrily threw a punch in your direction that narrowly missed.
                          
"I just used you to convince myself I did not like Hvitserk, and perhaps I do... a little." You backed away as you spoke before hiking up your skirt enough to run as fast as you could, grabbing the door and slipping inside with a bang.
                          
"(Y/N)?" Hvitserk asked gently and you let out a shaky breath, realising your eyes had fallen shut.
                          
"I am fine." You whispered and flinched when Hvitserk tried to gently help you move your weight to him rather than the door.
                          
"You are not, I can see that you are scared." He said softly and let his hands fall at his side as he gave up on convincing you to let him comfort you.
                          
"Hvitserk, I said I am fine." You insisted and sunk to the floor.
                          
"I just want to make you feel calm and safe again." He muttered, hurt hitting his tone but it rang with his usual upbeat honesty.
                          
You nibbled at your bottom lip and frowned. Hvitserk sighed and nodded as he left to slump onto the bed and stare into the fire while he tried to think of a way to make you see he just wanted you to feel better.
                          
He made a soft noise of surprise when the bed dipped and you'd flung yourself at him so you could hold onto him and sob into his side. "(Y/N), it is alright, come love you are far too pretty to cry." He soothed softly as he pried your fists from his shirt and rolled to cradle you.
                          
"I've made a terrible mistake and it's all my fault for paying Bard any attention in the first place." You snuffled and buried your face even further against Hvitserk. "I don't think he's as nice as he wants us to think."
                          
"Why, what happened." Hvitserk's tone was immediately dangerous, almost as close as Ivar's when Sigurd pushes a joke too far. He held onto you tighter before cupping your face to pull you away and look at him.
                          
You explained what happened and the other things you'd started to think was odd. Wanting to know about Hvitserk and his brothers, Aslaug, where Ragnar was and the layout of Kattegat. You hadn't thought of them, in fact they were passing comments buried in sweet exchanges.
                          
"You are sure?" Hvitserk asked and you nodded. "Bard is going on the raid... you do not need to worry about him but... Ivar is staying with Helga, she has taken ill and if it makes you feel safer you could join your sister and help look after her for Floki, you would not be so far out of town." Hvitserk said and he smiled when the idea drew you back to your bed and you nodded.
                          
"I have an uneasy feeling." You warned and he shrugged.
                          
"Perhaps Ivar is right, you are going to miss me?" He half teased with a hopeful look.
                          
"Perhaps." You mumbled, blushing as you turned away. He laughed and reached out to help you pull the string holding your hair out of your face as you climbed under the furs next to him.