*REWRITTEN* The new book is "Finding myself again" and it is up on my profile!
Warning this story contains: Swearing, mentions of cutting, and other trigger warnings if you do not feel comfortable with this stuff, do not read.
The rest of Sunday went by quickly. Monday morning is what I dreaded. I have therapy today, I'm scared. It's the fact that I kinda want to stop, but I'm so attached to cutting.
I got out of bed and got dressed in this:
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After I got dressed I did my usual, simple makeup and put on some perfume.
I walked downstairs and started to pet Chica. She started to lick my face, but I stopped her. "Nope! You're gonna cause me breakouts, Chica!" I got up and grabbed my penny board. "I'm heading out, dad!" I called out to him. Mark came out of the bathroom with his toothbrush in his mouth, which made me chuckle. "Eat first, Shelby." Sighing, I grabbed a yogurt container out of the fridge. "That's fine for now, we'll start off slow," he said and walked back into the bathroom to continue brushing his teeth. I quickly finished my yogurt and headed out.
When I got to school, I saw Seth at my locker. He already had his stuff, so I guess he was waiting for me. We locked eyes. Usually, his bright brown eyes were filled with happiness. Now, there dark brown, and filled with sorrow and sadness. Seth pulled me into a hug, we didn't say anything, just hugged. 20 seconds felt like 20 minutes. This hug is different. It's full of complete passion, unbearing love. We finally pull away as the first bell rang. "Better get to class," I told him. I hurried and put my things in my locker and grabbed the things I needed.
Soon enough, lunch came around. This time, I went in the line with Seth. But I only got a water bottle. "Don't you want to get anything else?" He asked as the lunch lady put mashed potatoes on his plate. "No, I want to start off slow." We started walking to the back of the cafeteria where we usually sit. I felt my phone buzz from in my back pocket. I took it out and saw that my dad texted me.
Dad <3: Eat something small for lunch. Don't just drink water.
Shelby: Okay
I showed Seth the texts and he gave me his bag of chips. "I can't eat all of this. It's too much." I wouldn't be able to eat all of that without puking. "Then we'll share it."
As we ate, we talked about everything that happened. "Why did you try it?"
"Because I felt like I deserved it. I cause you, and my dad stress. It was just too much." I explained.
"I don't know what I'd do without you." He hugged me.
"I have therapy today, I'm really fucking scared," I said nervously.
"Shelby, you'll be fine. They have that job for a reason. Because they're good at helping people." I took a sip of my water and sighed. "I know..but what if I mess up?"
"I'm sure that they won't judge." He looked into my eyes.
"Shelby, can I see you in my office real quick?" The school counselor, Mrs. Frost asked.
"Uh, sure" I gave Seth a look of worry.
I walked out of the cafeteria and into the hallway. No one seemed to notice me walking out as people walk out all the time. Mrs. Frost was probably in her office by now.
As I approached her room, I saw she was standing outside of it. "Come on in, Shelby." She said in her cheery voice. "So, your dad called and said that you have several mental illnesses. This is all self-diagnosed and hasn't been professionally analyzed. Am I right?" I nodded. "I'm going today later, though," I said to her. "He mentioned it in the phone call." Mark also said you're really nervous for your first therapy session, he asked if I could make you a little less nervous." She explained. She was right, I'm really fucking nervous.
"Yeah, I am.."
"Hey, you'll be fine. Therapists and doctors know when to stop asking you questions. You should also tell them the truth." I nodded "Thank you, Mrs. Frost."
"Anytime, Shelby. You may now get back to lunch. There are 10 minutes left."
