*Heavily unedited*
I USE TO LOOK outside my window sheild when I was younger searching for something wonderful. Like a shooting star in broad daylight, or something even more unlikely, like for my dad to come home from work early. My dad use to work so much Mia didnt even know
I had a dad until that night she sleeped over at ny house and she had awoke to see him finally coming home at three in the morning, to only go back at one in the "afternoon." We never really talked or shared unforgettable memories. He was like a acquaintance and our conversations involved my school work more than anything, and only because those type of things reflected on him.I never thought that there would come a day where something would ever stop him from working. I mean his life revolved around one thing and that was working. And I guess if your life is ever consumed by just one thing, its destined to end up hetic, but I always imagined him quiting or retiring. Never getting lung cancer. You just dont wonder about those type of things without reason. And he never gave me one.
That was his destruction, lung cancer was. I should say is but I feel like it only makes things more surreal. His breakage was my mother, I would like to think that she hurt him so much that that was when he slowly began to crack but I could never really tell with him. He was so busy trying to save everyone elses lives he forgot about his own. And sadly his life also consists of me and my mother. And he forgot about us as well.
Dont you find it strange my father was pretentious on saving lifes, but when my mother was fin to give birth to one of his own, he didnt want it. He didnt save it. He didnt stay away for days at a time trying to take care and protect it. As soon as he heard about it, he dimissed it. He didnt care.
I dont know why everything comes back to my dad, or why suddenly
after so many years all this matters to me but it does. Im siting in a coffee shop and im waiting for Mia. Its been 25 long minutes. I staring into my dark black coffee and my mind flickered back to when I shared this same cup of coffee with Ace.
We were both so fucked up at the time, but yet we called it love. I smile because I now realize that is was so more in depth than love, because through my personal experience you can fall in and out of love, at the same pace that you can watch a candle light die out when its embraced by wind. But you never stop caring about someone. You don't just wake up one day and cut someone completely out of your life and never slightly think about them if you cared.
I don't think us as human beings can ever just stop caring about something or someone we're deeply invested in, and maybe at the time I really thought that was love. I dont really know what love is if you haven't noticed, I didn't really have a stable image of it growing up.I didn't notice her walking in or sitting in the chair from across me or even her staring at me strangely. But when she spoke my past collided with my present crushing me in between them both.
"Hey, Jinxet." She looks nice. Not as nice as she use to look but nice. I guess. Her hairs in this low braid that I never in my entire years of "knowing" of her seen her wear, and she's dressed in a green cardigan wrapped around her like a blanket and black leggings. Not her typical en
attire but I realize I no longer really have the right to think that anymore. After all I don't know what her typical anything is, anymore."Hello Miranda," I say returning the favor of using her legal name, just as she used mine. Yeah shocker huh? Who would have guessed Mia could be a Miranda?
She smiles thinly obviously in no apparent mood to chat casually so I take the hint and go for the kill.
"Im so sorry to hear about Ethan. I had know idea that he ha-"
Mia/Miranda scoffs wipping away a dry tear that had fallen from down her face and my eyebrows raise at her abnormal behavior as rage turn over her features."Of course you didnt know! You took off the first chance you could you little bítch. But what about me huh? You left me for those god forsaken gang bangers to ship me across the freaking country to go live with my grandmother! I didn't get to say goodbye to Ethan and its all your fault! I wish your dad never helped my dad because that's the only reason I ever hung out with your ugly fat faced a$s anyway. Because your dad felt bad that your only friend you ever had died, hmm. Ha, and do you know how she died?
My dad killed her," I completely sick out of my mind when Mia pauses smiling menacingly. "But your dad helped."And I knew then in that moment she was talking about Savannah and all those flashbacks that were beat out of me all those years ago by my father come back. And the truth behind everything finally is revealed. And I knew then that Ace didnt find me because I had yet to be ruined or tainted, but instead because I didn't know it yet. And now I do.
Maybe there's a place where bad people go. Maybe that place is where all of us go. And maybe its not because we're bad people. But because we're surrounded by bad things. And those bad things turn us into what we fear the most. Our opposite.//
A\N
I'm back I have a lot more planned for this book with Jinx finding out about so many secrets that lie within her family and Ace struggling to prove his brothers inocents its all over hectic and I'm trying to figure out a stable ending where they can actually be together and I just come up with more promblems with no solution. Sorry I take forever to update im working on another story like always but u love you guys and thank you so much for all the support you've done for me.
Until next time
××
VG
YOU ARE READING
Gangleader's Lost
Teen FictionHe loved me, He loved me not He loved me, but not, in the way I needed him to say. "When you lose someone who use to be your everything it's like if the sun was to collapse or all the oxygen in the air was to run out. You don't think you can live...