6: What G thinks

                                    

                                          
     "I'm not jealous." I told Alex. He laughed. I sat down really thinking about it. Maybe I am. 
                          
     "Whatever G." He paused, I think I am supposed to say something right about now, but I decide not to. "All, I'm saying is that we should only be friends. I mean we have our whole life ahead of us to do whatever. Just let's stop fighting, and be friends." Alex said matter of factly. 
                          
     I stopped. Oh no, why is this making me sad? I wanted to be Alex's friend. I loved him, in a friendly way. He made me really happy to be around. He was nothing compared to Jared, but I didn't know that, Jared could just be the guy for me. I pulled on the best fake smile anyone could ever pull and try to think of what to say. Even though he couldn't see me.
                          
      "That's a great idea Alex, I am really happy you said that, I was actually, just going to say the same thing to you at school tomorrow." I say, am I being truthful to myself? I stare down at the phone screen. 5 awkward minutes and 48 seconds of misery trying to keep a straight face for Alex while on the inside, my body is ripping apart.
                          
     "Great. Well see you at school tomorrow." Alex says. I smile even though he can't see.
                          
     "Cool, I'll see you there then." Then he hung up, without saying a good bye. I closed my phone, and sighed heavily. Man, why does my heart hurt so much?
                          
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      I hung out with Lydia for most of the night, while we skyped Jared who asked me on a date in two days, on Friday, in which I said yes to. I really wanted to get Alex off of my mind. I don't really understand what's happening to me. Whenever I think of a guy, Alex's face pops up in my mind. Maybe it's because he was my first friend or something. 
                          
      After talking to Jared, I soon realize, that he's not a bad guy at all. He was stupid at times, yes. But he was cute and funny. I liked that about him. Although, having someone who was smart and funny was even better.
                          
      The next day, I practiced for my test on Monday, after I cleared things up with Alex, I told him that I hadn't actually done anything with Jared, and he told me that he didn't actually have sex with Brittany, which made me happier. Then Jared called and asked if he could help me on my test, so I invited him over, we talked and talked about everything. I think I was starting to like this guy.
                          
      "So your mom, fell, down the stairs with your sister." I said laughing, he laughed along with me. "That is absurd." He smiled at me. I moved my homework to the side and listened.
                          
      "Yeah, the funniest part was that they landed on their backs." I giggled. Dang he's funny. "I think I'm really starting to like you G." I stop laughing and stare at him. Is he joking? No one can like me. I sat there staring at him, unsure of what to say next. I feel my heartbeat speed up.
                          
       "I think I like you too."  He smiles and leans in. I close my eyes and lean in more. Will Alex approve of this? What will Alex think? What would Alex's lips feel like against mine? Why do I care of what Alex will think? I open my eyes wide and notice Jared leaning in. What would a normal girl do right now? I stare at his mouth, Do I like Jared? I stop and think, Jared's mouth getting closer and closer to mine. Yes I do. I close my eyes again and kiss Jared. The kiss was soft and gentle, just how I expected my first kiss to be. I just thought it would be with a different guy. Well I was wrong.