Day 11

                                    

                                          

I sat up in my bed when Dr. Perkins entered my room today.  He seemed a bit nervous today just by looking at his expression and shifty movements.

                          
"How are you doing today, Katie?" He asked me, taking a seat.
                          
I squinted my eyes at him.  "I'm fine...but how are you?"
                          
"I'm good!" He breathed, looking at his papers.  "Um...have you thought about that event more from yesterday?" He asked.
                          
"I've tried not to."
                          
"So you don't want to discuss it?" he questioned, looking up at me.
                          
"If I didn't want to discuss it yesterday, do you really think I'd want to discuss it today?" I said doubtfully.
                          
"I never know with all my patients," he told me.  Sometimes I forgot that there were other patients here when I don't really see them.  I was let out of my room for a bit yesterday for recreation time, but I just kept to myself and didn't pay any attention to the other people.  "I do think it would be good for you to talk about it though, since it seems to bring you stress."
                          
I gave a nod, agreeing.  "I know...I just don't want to."  I was always one to try and get patients to open up because talking about it seems to get it off their chest, it lifts a weight.  But that didn't mean I wanted to tell Dr. Perkins about me starving myself.  I didn't need to give him another reason to worry and keep me here.
                          
"Maybe you'll change your mind tomorrow," he remained optimistic.
                          
"Doubtful."
                          
He hesitated before responding.  "You're going to have to share something tomorrow."
                          
I gave a confused look, wondering what was so special about tomorrow.  "Why's that?"
                          
Dr. Perkins let out a deep breath.  "Well...I signed you up to attend a group session with other girls who are also here due to kidnapping."
                          
My eyes widened, hoping I heard incorrectly.  "Is this a joke?" I asked.
                          
He shook his head.  "No, I'm serious."
                          
"You can't do that!" I stood up.  "I can't talk to other people about my situation, especially not girls who actually went through torture!"
                          
"I understand it may be uncomfortable for you..."
                          
"I think it will be more uncomfortable for them when someone tells about how they were beat and I go right after saying I got my own chef!" I snapped, thinking this was more inconsiderate to those girls than anything.
                          
"Whether you want to admit it or not, you do seem traumatized by something that happened, I think this could be a good way to connect and open up!"
                          
"And whether you want to admit it or not, I didn't go through the same thing as these other girls!" I counteracted. 
                          
Dr. Perkins was trying his best to keep not only himself, but me calm as well and it just wasn't working.  "You haven't heard their stories," he pointed out.
                          
I lowered my voice now, not wanting to fight or snap.  "I don't need to hear their stories to know mine is different.  Vastly different."  Dr. Perkins stayed silent now, because he knew that my situation wasn't like anyone else's.  "I'm not like the other girls here, Dr. Perkins."
                          
"You might have more in common than you think once you talk to them."
                          
"I don't belong here, we both know that."
                          
"Are you sure about that?" he questioned.
                          
"How many other patients messed with their doctor's mind so much that they quit on them because they were too devious?" I reminded him of the reason he was even my doctor.  "On their second day here," I added.

                          
Dr. Perkins stood up, showing he wouldn't back down.  "I'll see you tomorrow at the meeting," he concluded.