15

                                    

                                          
My parents were the kind of people that could survive in a jungle. I'm not even kidding there. They were the type of people you could throw anywhere and they'd fit right in. 
                          
It was only three days in the palace but by the way my parents strode into the meal area, you'd think they've been here for years. Mum was gushing about the wedding plans and my fathers sharp eyes were on me gauging how I felt.
                          
I've been eating alone for so long that having my parents around was a blessing. But they didn't make the palace feel like home, no matter how desperately I needed them to.
                          
We were having tomato soup, the start of a three course meal. It's one of my favourite dishes here. When my mum shifted the topic into red light zone.
                          
"Do you love the Prince?" I could see the question had been bugging her. 
                          
I hesitated, the spoon filled with warm tomato soup in my hand. "I like him, but I wish we had more time together."
                          
"Companionship isn't too bad," my father remarked. But there was a twinge of sadness in the air. 
                          
"Mhm," I agreed, like it didn't bother me. "Will you be staying in the palace with me?"
                          
My parents shared a look that didn't feel very promising, "Well Alana," my dad started.
                          
"We both have our own interests-" my mum tried to ease the hurt.
                          
"The palace is nice-" my dad gently added like I didn't know the excuses that would pour out of their mouth. 
                          
"- and the palace isn't the best place to pursue our lines of work."
                          
"But it isn't home for us," my dad ended the tirade of excuses. "You need to start being the wife of the Crown Prince and we'll be in the way of that."
                          
"When are you leaving?" I asked softly, staring at my soup. I doubt I'll ever be able to eat Tomato soup after this comfortably, the taste will always be soured by this memory.
                          
"A week after your wedding," my mum gently said from across the table. 
                          
I nodded, "okay."
                          
I used to think leaving Australia to stay in Galway would hurt my parents feelings. The amount of times Philip and I had lain, naked under the duvet as he played with my hair telling me to go home to Galway, to stay on my own.
                          
 In truth, it was me. Going to Galway without my parents wouldn't make me happy but staying in Australia with the two of them frequently at work wasn't making me happy either but at least I had them. 
                          
And perhaps that was all I wanted, if I only I realised it before all this happened.
                          
A loud knock on the door, caused echoes to resonate in the room and effectively shifting our attention to the door. A royal messenger stood there, bowing once before he said, voice loud and clear, "Friends of the Princess-to-be, Maria Sharpova and Elizabeth Greengrass."
                          
I stood up halfway, spotting two familiar faces dressed in their prettiest dresses. My mouth fell a little, as I watched the dark haired girl with dreadlocks enter with the other girl whose skin was so pale her veins showed. "Maria, Ellie," I squealed. 
                          
There was a lot of squealing as Maria, the fashion queen in our school shrieked at what I was wearing (she liked it) and Ellie whom I dearly missed and I were hugging and laughing because it had been so long and Ellie was as sweet as ever and there were tears on my part because seeing the two of them here made me realise how much I missed them.
                          
I missed so much about them, our silly school days from pranking the boys on the football team with a water balloon bash and at one point when the boys in the football team slept off on the bus, tying them up to each other and giggling as they woke up shouting. 
                          
I missed our lacrosse games and the wars we waged against other schools.
                          
I missed sitting in classes with Ellie and Maria next to me as we plotted the most devious of pranks to our teachers and then chuckling when it worked.
                          
"You didn't tell us you were dating the Prince of Greek!" Maria said mock-scowling as she lightly whacked my arm.
                          
"You deactivated your instagram," Ellie whined, "and didn't post any throwbacks of us on your new instagram."
                          
"She didn't even follow us," Maria pointed out, "What are the odds of her posting a picture of us when she's got a prince around her pinky finger?"
                          
As the two of them entered a playful squabble, with a huge grin on my lips I breathed out, "I've missed you two."
                          
The three of us shared matching grins, Ellie and Maria brought out this pranking devilish side out to me and the palace was filled with possibilities for pranks but the grin was the first to slip from my face as a crushing weight fell on my shoulders.
                          
"What's wrong?" Maria asked noticing the shift on my face.
                          
"I'm going to miss pranking people with the two of you," I whispered. Because this tiara I would wear, was a heavy weight. I needed to keep my head up and protect the royals family's name at all costs. 
                          
I'd have to give up this side of myself, no longer be able to be mischievous with Maria and Ellie by my side.
                          
There was so much sacrifices I had to do, so much of it, I wondered if there would be any bit of me left. I wondered if I would follow Prince Philip, to give up so much of myself to be what the Crown needed me to be.
                          
I wondered if the growing child in me would be worth it, if it would give me all the love I lacked here in the palace, if it would make up for me being unable to do the things I love, and how it would feel when it began to question it's conception.