I couldn't do it anymore, I couldn't just stand there and let him take my best friend away again.
I couldn't do it though, I couldn't take away the only man who made my best friend happy.
"I wrote my own vows," she stepped in, smiling widely up at the man she was being married to, not waiting for an answer before continuing, "Mark... I love you. I would rather fight with you than laugh with another. I would rather feel your wrath than feel another's passion. You're the only person I've ever met who I would rather die than be with. No one I've ever met could ever amount to how much you mean to me. I swear with all my heart that I will love you for the rest of my days and never betray you. I swear on my life that you will never have to doubt my faith in this relationship, because sealing this knot by allowing my name to become Y/N Fischbach is the most I could ever ask of you. You've already given me more than I could ever ask for, but I have one more request. Let me kiss you and say I do with tears running down our cheeks and join me in a marriage that will last forever."
Tears slipped out of my eyes, falling onto my hand that covered my mouth to stop me from screaming out to her. I wanted to be her husband, I wanted to be her everything, but I was too late. She found someone else who was braver than me, who could feel no hesitation as he scooped that woman into his arms and say I love you. I was scared, I was so scared of being declined that I wouldn't- couldn't tell her how I felt.
How I feel.
Everyone was crying now, cheering on the two individuals as they fell into each other's embrace and pressed their lips together. I choked down a sob, wiping my eyes and pulling on the biggest smile I could muster. I was going to be strong, I was going to be there for my best friend and congratulate her for being joined by marriage to the one he loved the most. For the one she loved more than me, the one she had known for as long as she could remember.
The guests were cheering, applauding the two. Anyone could see they'd been dying to get married from a mile away. When he had proposed to her, she was shaking. She screamed and she sobbed and she said yes. She called me and I came over because I didn't know if she was okay or not, but she was very okay. I came home to see them making out on the couch, and that's when I realized she would never be mine. I had hid away my feelings for too long and now I was paying the price for it.
The ceremony ended with everyone in tears, especially the two newlyweds. She kissed her husband for the second time before bounding towards me with the happiest expression on her face, trembling with small sobs racking her body.
"Congratulations, Y/N/N," I didn't have to fake a smile as I embraced her, letting her cry happily into my shoulder. I spun her around with my arms tightly around her, laughing.
"Thank you for being my best man, Jack. You don't know how happy I am that I could have my two favorite people on such a beautiful day. I love you," she pecked my cheek, oblivious to how those three words tore my heart from my chest.
"I'd always be there for you, Y/N. Now go dance with your husband and have fun, we'll have time to commemorate on memories tomorrow," I gave her one last hug before gently nudging her off in Mark's direction. She squealed, not giving me a second glance before rushing off. I allowed myself to inch towards the alcohol table, biting back any consequences of a hangover so I could forget about Y/N moving out and never being able to call her mine.
My hand felt around for a shot glass, a sigh of relief emitting from my lips as the cold material hit the palm of my hand after a moment of searching. I turned on my heels, taking the bottle of tequila and filling the small glass to the brim, throwing my head back and letting the alcohol send a burning trail of regret down my throat.
Shot, after shot, after shot.
I'd had one too many by the time I was on the dance floor, my hands around someone's waist with blurry vision and hips swaying to Beyoncé's Crazy in Love. Despite my thoughts being broken up into bits under the influence, that song still reminded me of how often Y/N and I used to listen to it together. We spent every waking second pressed against each other, never being more than a centimeter apart. When Mark and her got together... She just, left. She didn't talk to me as often and if we ever spoke it was very brief before she was back into the arms of a raven haired man.
My mouth opened to mumble out the lyrics, finding a glimmer of hope in remembering the song.
"Got me looking so crazy right now, your love's got me looking so crazy right now, got me looking so crazy in love," my eyes locked on Mark and Y/N intimately dancing against each other. They were smiling and laughing, singing along to the song playing. There was nothing wrong with their relationship, nothing that would ever break them apart.
Mark was perfect for Y/N and Y/N was perfect for Mark.
Of course, them being perfect together meant that I would never amount to Mark. I had nothing to offer Y/N that Mark couldn't give her. I could only give her the promise that I would never treat her terribly. No, I would never treat her in any way that wasn't perfect. She was a queen that deserved the world at her feet no matter the circumstances. She deserved a strong shoulder to cry on whenever she was down and a body to rock against whenever she wanted. Mark could give her the world but I knew I could give her the galaxy.
"I've been playing myself, baby I don't care, cause your love's got the best of me, and baby you're making a fool of me, you got me sprung and I don't care who sees, cause baby you got me... you got me... so crazy baby," the speaker blared, guests around preparing themselves as they screamed, "hey!"
Everyone was dancing, the beat was like the smiles on everyone's faces: never faltering. So why couldn't I smile?
Because I was at the love of my life's wedding and I was only the best man.
___________
based off of private fears in public places by front porch step.
this is a version of an old book on an old account of mine that i took down~
requests are still open~
