7. Matters Of The Heart

                                    

                                          
And I still don't understand,
Why are you still a permanent resident in my heart while I'm not even a visitor in yours?
                          
It's funny how he hurts me unintentionally and then when he realises that I'm hurt because of him, he hurts himself, probably punishing himself for hurting me but then he can't control his temper. And it's extremely hilarious that I, even after all the pain that he gives me, still feel guilty as hell for putting both of us in such a complicated situation as such, at first. My head is bursting with pain. First, all this drama happens and then I come to know that Kritika is dating Cabir. I thought Cabir is the sensible and mature one but no. He is using Kritika too, just like Manik.
                          
Enough is enough Manik. I won't let you play with Nia's feelings, just because of a bloody album. I'll make sure Nia gets to know your reality and then you get thrown out of this album. I'll make sure that you get this album only if you're the deserving one. I'll make sure that you don't come in between Advik and I because now I'm damn sure that you and I are not meant to be. You aren't the Manik that I used to love more than my life. You're not my Mani.
                          
Ek taraf Manik hai jo kuch samajhta Nahi aur dusri taraf Advik hai jo kuch samajhna Chahta nahi. I know Advik that I've caused you immense pain in the past but that doesn't mean you can't give me another chance. Everyone deserves second chances and so do I. Why can't you see that I love you faithfully with all my heart and its broken pieces? Why is it so difficult for you to accept me as your wife? We were the best of friends, what happened to us now? Am I not worthy of your love or friendship?
                          
Damn! I think it's too much for now. I will start thinking about it all tomorrow but for now I just need to sleep. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and started advancing towards the staircase when I saw someone in the garden area.
                          
Who could it be? I saw all of them going in their rooms. I walked towards that manly figure and found him engrossed in his thoughts, staring straight ahead with hands in his pockets. I walked closer and saw him turning back to me revealing his face.
                          
Dhruv? What is he doing here in the middle of the night?
                          
Nandini: Dhruv! Umm do you...need anything?
                          
He looked at me for a while but then nodded his head in denial. Ok then. Well I asked him out of courtesy after all he is my guest and it's my responsibility to make him feel at home. We were still looking at each other and for a moment, after a whole of four years, I found my same old best friend Dhruv, who was like an open book to me. I wanted to ask him what was troubling him but I stopped myself because well, who wants to be unnecessarily insulted by their ex bff that too after a bad day? I mentally nodded at my self consciousness and turned back to walk away when I heard that one word that made me stop at my place immediately.
                          
"Nandu!"
                          
I turned towards him like a lightning and stared at him open mouthed and moistened eyes. Did he just called me Nandu or is it my imagination? I saw him walking towards me with slow steps and his head down.
                          
Dhruv: I lost your friendship no?
                          
The tears that I was holding till now, finally found their escape hearing this.
                          
Nandini: Long back Dhruv.
                          
A tear spilled from his right eye as he wiped it harshly nodding his head as if in understanding. We stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to say.
                          
Nandini: I should go. It's late already.
                          
I turned to walk away without waiting for his reply but then he held my hand.
                          
Dhruv: Can we take a break for a moment?
                          
I closed my eyes painfully, trying to compose myself.
                          
Nandini: Why Dhruv? Why now?