Chapter Fourteen

                                    

                                          
Natsu Dragneel
                          
It was about 10:00 PM when Gray dropped Wendy and I home. We thanked him for the drive, me more physically than Wendy, before walking inside. We both looked at our phones to see they were dead. We sprinted upstairs to our rooms. I leapt onto my bed, grabbing my charging cord. I swiftly plugged my phone in. Since it would take a while for my phone to turn on again, I decided to draw. I was a bit tired, so I sat in my bed as I sketched. I wanted to do something simple, so I drew the pictures my friends and I took at the carnival. Basic, I know, but I wanted to draw it out with my own little touch. After drawing out the pictures, I flipped to a new page. My body took over and I started sketching out a different picture. I didn't usually draw comics, but this time, I did.
                          
I drew out the scene Gray and I experienced on the Ferris wheel, but I replaced Gray and I with Will Solace and Nico Di Angelo from the Percy Jackson series. Once I was finished with the sketch, I checked my phone. I had a lot of missed texts from Nana. I quickly grabbed my phone up and opened my message app. Nana had my real number, a thing only Lucy, my family, and recently Gray share in common.
                          
Nana - 8:12 PM
                          
Hey, I know you're busy.
                          
Why else would you be ignoring me?
                          
Can you text me back when you see this?
                          
Nana - 9:25 PM
                          
I really need to talk to you.
                          
Are you okay?
                          
Are you safe?
                          
Natsu?
                          
Nana - 9:59 PM
                          
Are you home yet?
                          
I stared at my phone silently. My fingers hovered over the keyboard. Before I could type anything else, I received a text from Nana.
                          
Nana - 10:19 PM
                          
Natsu?
                          
Natsu - 10:20 PM
                          
I'm here Nana. I'm sorry, I was at the carnival. I should've told you. I'm sorry.
                          
My phone was dead, I didn't even know you texted me until now.
                          
Are you okay?
                          
Nothing.
                          
Natsu - 10:20 PM
                          
Nana, come on.
                          
Please don't ignore me.
                          
Nana.

                          
Nana - 10:22 PM
                          
Sorry. 
                          
I'm not doing too well.
                          
Uh, Natsu, can I tell you something?
                          
Natsu - 10:23 PM
                          
Of course.
                          
Nana - 10:25 PM
                          
I know you're in a relationship, and this is selfish of me, especially now, but I had to tell you. I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, maybe if I did, I wouldn't be feeling this shitty. Natsu, I really like you. The way you draw, the way you smile, the way you refuse to wear your glasses, the way you get excited when you teach me a math problem. I just really like you. I love you.
                          
My grip tightened on my phone. I read the last line about as many times as I could before Nana sent her next text.
                          
Nana - 10:28 PM
                          
I don't expect you to share my feelings. That would be cruel of me. You're so happy with Gray and that's what I want. I want you to be happy. My happiness comes from your happiness, not from you reciprocating my feelings. I get it if you don't want to be my friend anymore, but I want to be your friend. Maybe you'll always be the one who got away to me, but I don't want that right now.
                          
I started typing out my apology to Nana. How I should have been more aware of her feelings for me, acted on the way I felt for her, but then I realized, I would be leading her on. I loved Nana, but not in the way I loved Gray or any other future partner. I loved her how I loved Lucy, or how I loved Wendy and Igneel and Grandine. I deleted my apology and typed out what Nana deserved to be told.
                          
Natsu - 10:34 PM
                          
Your happiness is important to me, too, Nana. I'm sorry I made you sad, sorry that you had to pine from a distance. I don't feel the same for you, but that doesn't mean I don't love you. You're my family, Nana, the girl I consider as the sister I never had before Wendy. You're still that girl to me. I don't just want to continue being your friend, I want to be someone you can count on. Will you let me do that for you?
                          
Nana - 10:39 PM
                          
Yes. Yes, I'll let you do that for me. Thank you, Natsu. 
                          
Goodnight.
                          
I felt like more could be said. Like more should have been said, but nothing was. I just told Nana Goodnight back and turned off my phone. I placed it on my bedside table before walking to my desk. I was surprised to see Gray awaked, back against his window. I lifted my hand to open my window to get his attention, but resisted. How would he react? Would he be angry at me for my response to Nana's declaration of love? Would he take it the wrong way and break up with me? Our relationship was so new, who knew what could ruin it? 
                          
My anxiety built up until I decided to wait to tell Gray. Maybe I would tell him when Nana was back to being comfortable with me or I would tell him when she told me I could. This was Nana's privacy, but I told Gray everything. I noticed that. I was so comfortable with him that didn't even question what I told him. I knew I would tell him, but I didn't know when.
                          
The struggles of being hopelessly in love, I guess.