08

                                    

                                          


                          
I used to hold myself in my own hands. My fate, my destiny. Sure there were external factors that shifted what I did but at least I knew I had control over what I would do tomorrow. In the new twist of events. I didn't have that luxury.
                          
My room was my prison and I was only allowed to leave it with a brunette guard, who escorted me to an empty dining room with servants to cater to my wishes and then back again to my room. I was told what I would do.
                          
Like today, I was dressed in a beautiful white blouse, and a tight blue skirt. I was going to walk around Thalassa beach with Philip and we were going to look in love. This was my first public appearance with Philip and we were timed for 30 minutes.
                          
I had thirty minutes to talk to him, but since there were reporters and they were afraid that we might get bugged, it was going to be similar to people that knew each other for a long time, which meant teasing, laughter and romance. The queen was painting a story of our romance in Australia. Most of it fabricated.
                          
The first glimpse I had of Philip sent my heart fluttering, he was dressed in a suit, the same blue of my skirt and his shirt was white as well. There was a slight tension in the air as I entered the Limo, Philip following behind.
                          
Two of his guards followed, and my guards were following in a car behind us. 
                          
"So you're playing along with this?" Philip spoke, glancing at me uncertain.
                          
My brows rose up in surprise, I was dolled up so I barely looked like me, there was foundation on my face, covering my freckles and I looked pretty but not like me. I thought he would know considering his mother went to great lengths to explain exactly how I was to behave today. I glanced away, "You very well know I don't have much of a choice."
                          
I couldn't stop the bitterness from leaking into my voice because I blamed him. If he was just a normal guy, I didn't have to hold on to this child.
                          
"Alana," he closed the distance between us, holding my hand. The gesture sent my heart into a slight frenzy, more so when he sat quiet close. "I didn't want this either, but let's make the best of it." 
                          
I nodded, feeling tears prick at the ends of my eyes.
                          
"Oh Alana," his accent didn't strike as attractive now I knew what was attached to it. The crown for one thing. He squeezed my hand, "there's worse people to be stuck with."
                          
We reached the beach, and Philip sent me a smile that was dazzling. "Come on, Alana, let's have some fun."
                          
Philip got out of the vehicle first, before turning to hold out his hand to me. I took it stepping out, plastering the largest smile I could to my face.
                          
Look at him like you love him.
                          
I closed the distance between us, sending him a chaste kiss on his cheek. He smiled, still holding my hand as he led me around the beach. We entered the beach by going through a resort, Phillip never let go of my hand discarding his blazer on one of the multitudes of white chairs and umbrella's that decorated the beach. We took off our shoes and walked barefooted on the beach. "This reminds me of australia," I said softly.
                          
"A little," Philip replied. "If the photographers weren't around, I'd feel more comfortable," Philip replied.
                          
"Agreed, I liked our privacy." I cast a glance to the photographers that were a distance away thanks to the resorts guards but with their attention still focused on the two of us.
                          
Philip tugged me, pulling me by his side as we walked along the beach, I kept sneaking glances at him wondering when we'll speak. The queen told me to follow his lead, but I kept wanting to shake him because he didn't feel the same.
                          
The sea blew my perfectly curled hair away from him. I remembered the boy who used to always be coated in a layer of sand, who used to toss water or sand at me sunbathing. The man who stood beside me was older, the world weighing on his shoulders. 
                          
I remembered his reluctance to admit I was pregnant. This weighed heavier on him than me.
                          
Disregarding what the queen said, I pushed Philip to walk closer to the water so that the bottom of his suit was wet and so that our feet were in the water. "It's colder here," I told him, both our feet in the water.
                          
He hummed in agreement.
                          
"You're very boring here," I teased.
                          
He glanced at me, something else clearly on his mind, "oh really?"
                          
"Yes," I stopped, turning to glance at him, wanting to take away the pain his eyes. "I think you need to cool off."
                          
"If you're talking about what we did in Australia, I don't think it's possible." he replied, noting the way I took several steps closer, swaying my hips as I did so.
                          
"I think it is," I told him confidently as I pushed him hard to the waves that touched the sand.
                          
He fell, gracelessly into the waves, within a minute he's standing up spluttering and annoyed. "You're going to regret that," he said white shirt sticking to his skin. I could see his muscles easily.
                          
Muscles that moved closer, pulling me in a hug dragging me kicking and screaming into the sea. "Philip stop," I said as the top of my shirt got drenched. He didn't, throwing me into the ocean, the two of us laughed, playing in the water. I didn't hear the clicks of the camera and only knew we were supposed to leave when my brunnette guard told us to head back to the palace.
                          
The two of us got out of the water, completely drenched, still holding hands as he grabbed his blazer handing it to me to cover up as we headed into the limo.
                          
The next day as articles poured out about our adventure by the sea and papers questioned who I was the Queen was torn between being crossed and pleased with me. We stood in her chambers alone save for a few guards. "Look what they are saying," She told me throwing a paper with the headline, "Prince gets Mystery Girl Wet."
                          
I snickered.
                          
The Queen scowled at me, shaking her head. "Alana, you are pregnant with the crown's heir, we do not want anything that reveals you to be anything less than a saint so that when the heir is conceived, it won't arouse too much suspicion. This does not help your case, or the story of your innocence."
                          
The severity of my mistake began to hit because I wasn't saintly, I was mischievous, playful and teasing. I wasn't what he needed. I bent my head low, the laugh dying off my lips. "I'm sorry."
                          
"You should be, we can not erase this but please follow what I have organised next time Alana, we've more experience with the press than you and know their ways." The Queen shook her head. "Your proposal tomorrow is shifted off by two days while my team and I work on the personality you've shown the public so far."
                          
"Yes, your highness."
                          
She turned to her guard and I took that as my cue to leave, bending low before exiting her chambers. The minute I went out I read the whole article. It was skeptical, not at all bought by our act. 
                          
I dropped the paper down on the ground. How was I going to convince people we were in love, when I didn't know what love was?