Chapter Seven

                                    

                                          
~Alice~
                          
"This is really good Stacey." I complimented taking a forkful of Stacey's homemade chicken curry, I loved my parents cooking but they rarely had time to cook a proper family meal. 
"Thanks Al, at least someone round here appreciates my cooking." She mocked jokingly glaring at Martin. 
"Erm Martin." I asked shyly looking up at him, his gaze travelled across the table to me and I set my fork down.
"I just want to say I'm really sorry for last night, me and Bex had a row and I was the one in the wrong she was only trying to help, and I can't apologise enough for dad, he was an idiot." I muttered.
"It's fine I spoke to your dad this morning, everything's fine and I get friends row, just took me by surprise seeing Bex cry." He smiled softly at me setting my mind and heart at ease, I smiled and picked my fork up beginning to eat again. 
It felt strange eating round a table full of chatter, laughter and smiles, the only time we sat down together was breakfast other than that everyone ate at separate times, everyone was separated constantly. I could feel my previously happy mood plummet like a stone through water, and I'm sure my face mirrored this emotional turn. 
I felt lost I felt out of the moment, like I was fading into the background, shrinking. Disappearing. 
"Al could you pass me your plate please." I was ripped from the spiral going on my mind by Stacey, I muttered a sorry and passed her my plate.
"Al we going upstairs?" Nodding I silently got up and followed Bex to her room, being fully aware of the looks being exchanged between Stacey and Martin. 
~
"Can I go down and grab a glass of water?" I turned to Bex yawning sleepily, we'd spent the last two hours attempting to complete chemistry homework. 
"Sure want me to come down?" Bex turned to me.
"No it's okay, you want anything." 
"I'm good." She smiled at me, I quietly crept down the stairs something stopping me just outside the living room. 
                          
"I know what I saw Martin." Stacey snapped in a hushed voice causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand up on end. 
"Are you sure? Could it not just have been marks from hair bobble or something?" Martin questioned apprehensively.
"Martin, do you see any marks on my wrist from this hair bobble?" Stacey countered, there was a pause, presumably she was showing her wrist to Martin proving she didn't have a mark.
"So what you think she's self harming?" Martin asked in a low quiet voice, almost like he was scared to say such a thing.
"Yes." Stacey sighed. 
Tears began to well in my eyes and bile rose in my throat. They know. They'll tell mum and dad, they can't.
They will.
Before I even realised what had happened the contents of my stomach splattered onto the wooden flooring in the hall decorating it a off orange colour. 
                          
"Al, you alright." Stace rushed to my side while Martin stood in the doorway unsure of what to do.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to I didn't even know, I'm sorry I'll clean it up." I started to cry hysterically, Stacey didn't say a word she just pulled me into her chest, the stairs creaked hardly as Bex raced down to see what was going on.
Stace led Bex and I into the living room and gently sat my trembling frame down.
                          
"Do you want to go home?" Bex asked looking at me with worried, narrowed eyes. I just nodded not trusting my voice anymore, Bex said no more and went back upstairs to get my bag leaving just me and Stacey.
"Please don't tell them." I mumbled, Stacey's hand fell on my knee as she bent down to my level.
"You heard?" I nodded gently, my eyes briefly met hers but skimmed away again.
"You know I have too, you know your parents would tell us if this was Bex." She tried to argue, but I wasn't listening.
"No. I promise not to do it again. Don't tell them." I pushed desperately, determined to keep this my secret.
"Alice I have to." Bex walked back into the room stopping the conversation I wanted to end anyway. 
                          
I wasted no time in grabbing my things and walking out the house, Stacey right behind me. I pushed the pub doors open being met with the confused and surprised faces of my parents who were stood behind the bar cleaning up as the last few customers left. 
"Alice baby you okay." Dad asked beginning to walk over to me, he never reached me as I darted upstairs before he had the chance.
                          
I raced into the bathroom making sure to click the lock securely in place. I sunk down by the edge of the bath wanting nothing more than to scream, I felt like I was breaking apart every piece of my mind was fragmenting and burning away.
Everything was spinning. 
Then it stopped.
                          
I made it stop.
                          
~~~~~~~~~
                          
Super short I know but I always intended this chapter to be. 
So I have mock exams next week so until after that the next like two updates may be a little late bc you know your girl gotta revise to get them grades.
                          
I hope you're all okay and life isn't treating you badly, if it is then I'm sorry but just know shit times don't last, don't give up just keep on pushing through. 
My DM's are always open if you ever need me.
                          
I love you all xoxox