I'll be there for you

                                    

                                          
Warnings: Mentions of depression, self harm and suicide
                          
Vic's POV:
                          
You can try to tell me otherwise but I swear there is nothing worse than seeing the person you love hurt. Nothing quite gives you that aching feeling in your heart, that weird feeling in your stomach as if it's an empty hole like this does, nothing is worse than that. 
                          
Most people have that one person that they hate seeing hurt. That one person they love more than life, who they only want to make happy and hug and hold and tell them everything will be okay. For me, that person is Kellin Quinn.
                          
Kellin and I have been dating for the past three years and I know I want to spend the rest of my life with him. In fact, I want to get engaged to him this new year's eve since new years happens to be Kellin's favorite holiday.
                          
Kellin is the one person I hate seeing upset more than anyone else, and he is also the person I see upset the most. It happens that one of my close friends or someone in my family is hurting and of course I hate that too, but with Kellin it's different, it's worse. For him it's not just being slightly upset, it's not just crying once in a while, it's so much more than that.
                          
He's suffering from depression, and has been since I met him. When Kellin was only a child his father left him and his mom, making his childhood hard. After that things just got worse. Kellin had to change to my school because of bullies and even here people didn't treat him well to a beginning. Just because he doesn't look like everyone else people thought it would be okay to make fun of him.
                          
Kellin wasn't as tall as most guys in our school are, and he isn't as tan as many people are here in San Diego. He doesn't have broad shoulders and rock hard abs. He's short, even I am taller than him. His whole body is pretty slim and he's pale. To me he is absolutely stunning. 
                          
His blue green eyes are big and innocent and his pale skin is a beautiful contrast to his black dyed hair. His slim body is part of what makes him who he is, and I love every part of it. His thighs may be scarred, and his wrists may have a prominent scar across them from his suicide attempt. Other's may not see him as perfect, but others doesn't need to. Kellin is perfect to me.
                          
His depression had started when he was only eleven years old and unfortunately Kellin can barely remember what it's like to live without depression, and I've never met him when he hasn't been depressed. Not that it makes me love him any less.
                          
Kellin had come to Clairemont High in freshman year when we were both fifteen and today we are both eighteen years old. I practically fell in love with Kellin as soon as I saw him. It was in biology which was my first class for the day and a class we had together. 
                          
As soon as I entered the classroom I saw him. He was sitting by himself in the back row, next to the wall and looked like he didn't want to be there. He was beautiful to say the least. Immediately I wanted to know more about the beautiful stranger so I took a seat next to him and tried to find any excuse during that hour to talk to him. 
                          
I'm pretty sure Kellin thought I was a creep at first and just doesn't admit so because he doesn't want to hurt me. I had never been nervous when it came to speaking to new people but when Kellin looked at me for the first time that day the words got caught in my mouth and I couldn't get them out as I just stared at him and took in his features.
                          
Back to present time, I'm currently really worried about Kellin. I got out of school later than him today and thought he would be waiting for me. Though he wasn't by my locker and as I searched pretty much the entire school I still couldn't find him.
                          
I've been calling and texting him many times and he hasn't picked up once. Therefore I'm on my way home to drop off my bag before going over to Kellin's place, silently praying that nothing has happened to him.