People always say, "You can't have light without darkness" which is true. It is a part of life. You can't be human without being sad.
But do you know what's sad about being able to taste? It's the fact that no matter how hard I try, I can't get rid of your flavor. The taste that was much like honey, sweet. But was also like the almond milk I must drink, bad after one week. But I still drink it because I need it. I need milk and honey. I need you.
Do you know what's sad about not being able to taste? When I kissed you, I didn't know how it was. Was it passion? Was it a trick? Was this strawberries? Sweet and needing me to have more than one of your indulgent kisses. Or was it poison? Slowly killing me.
Do you know what's sad about being able to smell? When I clean my room and I find an old T-shirt or sweatshirt of yours and I smell it. It reminds me you're gone. You're not coming back. Smelling is hell.
But do you know what's sad about not being able to smell? I'd never be able to recognize you were here. You left only little things for me to cry to and I'll never know it was really you. You really existed.
Do you know what's sad about being able to touch? When I feel something, it always takes me back to you. When I feel leather, it reminds me of the jacket you always used to wear to look like a bad ass (which was successful) and I always wanted it. When I feel skin, it reminds me of the reasons why you're not here.
But do you know what's sad about not being able to touch? I would never have learned what makes you human. What makes you happy. What fills you up like the tea you drink at 6 am.
Do you know what's sad about hearing? You always hear what you don't want to hear. I heard you're okay without me. I heard you moved on to a few other women who were better than I could ever have been. I heard you hate me.
But do you know what's sad about not being able to hear? I would never have been able to hear your voice. I didn't hear it enough and I wish I did. Your sweet music.
Do you know what's sad about being able to see? I see you smile and laugh and hug and love other women. I'm glad you're happy and I know it's selfish, but I wish she were me.
Do you know what's sad about not being able to see? I can't see you smile. I can't see you're okay and you're happy without me. Much like an abused dog free from it's home.
Do you know what's sad about remembering? I could see one thing and suddenly all the memories come rushing towards me and I'm left drowning in a mixture of tears and old photos.
But do you know what's sad about not being able to remember? I'll never know what happened. The several hours and weeks and months wasted and you don't know what went down. It's like spending hours in your bed trying to think of what you were supposed to do but can't but you know deep down it meant a lot and makes you sad.
But do you know what's sad about loving? Nothing can replace them. No matter what they did, how long ago it was, or how bad it hurt, you still love them. It's hard to imagine life without them. You cry all the time when they're gone for good. You search in the places you two met and went and loved and hope for them to come back and you become "the man who can't be moved" even though you know damn well they won't come back. You listen to sad music and your songs and hoping they will come back but they won't. They won't. Life is hard without them.
But do you know the saddest part of all? You can't be sad without being human and ever since you left, I've never been more
Human..
