My heart is full...

                                    

                                          
Demi 
                          
I was so miserable after Nick left. I slept most of the day, which was good, so then I wasn't reminded of what happened with Olivia. I wasn't thinking, constantly, about what she said to me. I was thinking about how she was not letting Nick go. I had to cancel my sound check that day & I came really close to cancelling my show, but I decided not to. I didn't want to let my fans down. I gave them a warning via a tweet, but I figured they'd still have a good time.
                          
The show went well, but I nearly collapsed the moment I left the stage. I was worn out. This illness was kicking my ass. I slept like a rock that night & didn't wake up until my phone rang the next morning. It was Nick.
                          
"Good morning, Gorgeous. How are you feeling?" Nick asked.
                          
"Like shit." I replied.
                          
"I'm sorry. I wish you would have let me stay & take care of you yesterday."
                          
"It wouldn't have done any good. Did you see Olivia again?"
                          
I heard Nick take a deep breath & let it out. "Yea, I did, actually. Coming down the hall after I left your room. She was pissed & started yelling at me right there outside my hotel room. Then she came in my room & it was all neat & tidy so she was livid, thinking I hadn't slept in it. I just told her I made my bed that morning before I went for a walk." Nick cleared his throat, then chuckled. "Yea & then she was like you're wearing the same clothes that you wore on stage with Demi so she thinks something is up. I didn't try very hard to convince her otherwise. I just wanted her to leave. She's acting so crazy right now."
                          
"Did she mention coming to my room?" I asked.
                          
"Yea." Nick laughed. "I was wearing my jacket so I just told her that I stopped by your room to get it on my way back from my walk. She did try to convince me to get back together. She told me about all the appearances we had coming up & how she didn't want our breakup to take attention away from our careers. She is convinced that we need to stay together as far as the world is concerned until this summer."
                          
I started coughing. "Summer, huh?"
                          
"I'm not lying for that long, baby. I can't stand lying now. I want to just come out now with it, but I'll give it a little more time. Maybe another week. Maybe after I get back from Hawaii."
                          
"Do what you need to do. I need to lie down. I'll talk to you later, okay?" My head was spinning again & I wanted to burst into tears.
                          
"Demi... please don't be mad. We have something good going here & I don't want to mess it up."
                          
"I'm not mad." I sighed, loudly, then coughed again. "I just need to rest. You're leaving tomorrow for Hawaii, right?"
                          
"Yea. I'll call you later, okay?"
                          
"I'm taping Jimmy today, so I'll probably be busy." I said in a small voice.
                          
Nick groaned, sounding frustrated. "Demi. Stop. I'm calling you later. I'll call until you answer."
                          
"Okay. Bye."
                          
"I love you." Nick said, quickly, as if he thought I'd hang up before he got a chance to say it.
                          
"You, too." I croaked out. I hung up the phone, then got up to pack & get ready to leave & head to New York. I was looking forward to seeing Jimmy Fallon. I was supposed to perform, but I wasn't thinking that was going to happen. I needed to save my voice for my show tonight. I called Natalie to tell her to cancel my performance & tell Jimmy I'd still come to the show if he wanted me to. I was thrilled to find out that he still wanted me to come by.
                          
I tweeted as I rested until my show & since Wilmer & I hadn't announced our breakup, I tweeted about his show & called him, 'my love.' Of course once I sent that tweet out & a few others, my phone died. Nick was calling me & I didn't answer. I knew he had arrived in Hawaii & figured he was calling to see how I was feeling. I did my show that night & was thankfully, feeling better, afterwards. I was exhausted after I came offstage though. I headed right to my bed.
                          
I heard my phone ringing very early that next morning & I reached for it in the dark. "Hello?" I answered in a raspy voice.
                          
"Hi." It was Nick & he sounded a little sad.
                          
I sat up & looked at the clock on the nightstand. It was 6 a.m. so I knew it was midnight in Hawaii. "Hi. What are you up to?"
                          
"Missing you. Wanted to call you before I went to bed." Nick's voice was soft, making me worry.
                          
"I miss you, too." I sighed. "Are you okay?"
                          
"Not really." He sighed, too. "Your tweets to Wilmer bummed me out a little, but you look adorable on Jimmy's show. I'm watching Youtube clips. You draw a phone as well as I do." He chuckled.
                          
I couldn't help but to smile. "We haven't announced our breakup either & I do still support him." I was defending myself.
                          
Nick sighed again, this time with a little more emotion. "I know. It doesn't make my heart hurt any less."
                          
I felt horrible right now. "I'm sorry." I whispered. "I know how you feel."
                          
"Demi... no matter what is said & done regarding me & Olivia to the public, you have to know that I am yours. Every part of me. You have my heart. It happened so fast, but I wouldn't change a thing. I have no idea why suddenly, God would make me feel this way about you, but it happened like a brick upside my head & now I want nothing else except to be with you, forever." I heard his breath hitch & I wondered if he was getting as emotional as I was right now. When he spoke again, his voice was a little raspy, so I imagined he was. "I am in love with you. You have to know this. I will prove it to you if I have to, but I can't at the moment because I'm thousands of miles away. I promise, though, very soon, I will show you that I don't care about the world. All I care about is just me & you."
                          
"Nick..." I breathed, trying to sound like I wasn't crying. "I love you, too. I believe every word you are saying right now. You make me so happy & I know one day we will be able to be happy in public & not worry about what people think. I know that's a long way off, but I have faith that that day will come for us."
                          
"It will. I won't let her make you out to be the bad guy. You have my word. I will take full responsibility for us happening." Nick's voice cracked a little. "I seriously can't believe how much I love you. Two months ago, you were just my friend, my best friend & now I want you to be my whole world."
                          
I smiled as I wiped at my tears. I was so happy, hearing this come from Nick right now. "I feel the same way. The moment we started kissing, I felt it change. It was like a dimmer switch was being turned on inside me. I felt my love for you as my friend get stronger & stronger until I realized I could love you as my everything. And now, I can't imagine ever not loving you this way. I don't think I could do it. I don't think I could breathe if I tried to stop."
                          
I heard a smile in Nick's voice. "I know exactly what you mean." He let out a soft sigh & neither of us spoke for a moment. "I miss you so much. I'll let you rest. I'm glad you're feeling better. I love you, Demi. Good night."
                          
"Good night, Nick. I love you, too." I smiled as I hit 'end' then stared at my phone. I still had a picture of me & Wilmer as my background & I couldn't wait to change it to me & Nick. I decided to send out a tweet, "My <3 is so full of love right now." It was so true. I was so lucky to have Nick in my life at all & now I was in love with him. My life could be perfect, even though I didn't believe in perfection, but with Nick I'd have the closest thing. If only Olivia would let it happen. Or Wilmer for that matter.