ғɪᴠᴇ

                                    

                                          
I was in my room getting ready for school, I looked over myself in the mirror nodding in approval seeing everything in place. I was taking this new uniform and making it my own, if I was going to a prep school I definitely wasn't looking like everyone else.
                          
I had rings on my fingers and leaving my hair out to lay down my back, the teachers really didn't care how we wore the uniforms but I did stand out from the other students. I hear a knock on my door as I sat on my bed grabbing my shoes, I look up to see it was my mum.
                          
"Morning honey."
                          
"Don't you have work?" I asked, going back to tying my shoes and I hear a faint chuckle coming from her.
                          
"Why yes, I am fine thanks for asking." Mum says sarcastically and I turned to her sighing.
                          
"I'm sorry." I said and she comes to sit next to me, putting a piece of my hair behind my ear giving me her mother look making me sigh again, "If you're here to lecture me about me not talking to Scott, I don't want to talk about it."
                          
"Honey come on, you have to talk to someone."
                          
"Why do you all assume that I'm some ticking time bomb waiting to snap. I'm fine."
                          
"That's not what we think."
                          
"Yeah right." I said, getting up and walking back over to my desk to my bag.
                          
"Carmen, bottling up everything isn't good especially for you and you know it. You have to talk to someone about it sooner or later."
                          
"There's nothing to talk about."
                          
"You know that's not true."
                          
"I'm in control. I don't know what else you want from me."
                          
"You're in control now but what happens when you aren't? What happens next time-," Mum starts but I turned around abruptly to see she was now standing up.
                          
"There won't be a next time." I said, firmly but I knew she didn't believe me. As much as I try to convince her and everybody, it's never enough.
                          
"You're not sleeping and when you do, I hear you mumbling in your sleep."
                          
"Everyone talks in their sleep."
                          
"Well not everybody can move things with their mind, now can they?" She says, raising her eyebrows making me roll my eyes.
                          
"I haven't had an episode in months so I'm pretty sure that's significant to being enough."
                          
"You're not taking your meds."
                          
"They don't work."
                          
"Then we get new ones."
                          
"Yes, let's drug up your daughter with the anger issues and trauma. I'm sure that'll work and if not there is always crack, right?" I said giving her a fake smile as I turned back to pack my bag zipping it up.
                          
"Look, I know I'm never home anymore and your dads here so-,"
                          
"So what? I'm supposed to be best buddies with him. He left when I was 5, no call, text or even a birthday card. He doesn't get to choose to when he wants to be a father, especially not after so many years."
                          
"Scott's gotten over it."
                          
"Do I look like Scott to you? I'm sorry my twin is actually naïve to think that just because he's back means he's a good dad. If he was, he wouldn't have left."
                          
"You know why he left."
                          
"Yeah but that doesn't mean he couldn't have tried to be a dad. Just because you kicked him out of your life doesn't mean we had to stay out of his." I said, scoffing as I brought my bag up to my shoulders, "I gotta go, I have a test to do for Chem."