Hatefuck (Smut) // CTH

                                    

                                          
Creds to babewelooksocool on Tumblr.
                          
Trigger Warning: it contains smut and swearing  

                          
Heartbreak.
                          
That was the only thing I could feel in that moment. Life was slipping through my fingers and I couldn't do anything about it. All I could seem to do was sitting on the floor, trying to stop the tears from falling.
                          
Numbness came right after. The tears had already dried; my swollen eyes could hardly see anything. I heard the noise that came from the TV, my chest hurt. Everything was a blur, and not only because I couldn't see anything because of the tears, but because my mind wasn't even thinking straight. Trying to steady my breathing, I looked around my apartment. There were smashed dishes lying around the floor, a few picture frames also accompanied them.
                          
My mind was trying to analyze the whole fight; we were both very mad at each other and we knew that we had said harsh things towards one another, knowing damn well how hurtful they were. Was I hurt? A lot. Did I care? Not much.
                          
Since the beginning I knew that he and I would never work. It was that stupid smile of his that told me so. But I didn't listen to it.
                          
At first, it was just subtle flirting. Nothing more. A few weeks later, it escalated a little bit when we bumped into each other one night at a club. We needed to get drunk and forget everything else. But it wasn't the burning sensation of the strong whiskey down your throat the one that made me drunk. It was the feeling of our arms brushing lightly whenever we raised our glasses to our lips. Drunk in love, I thought. But I quickly refused to be in love with him. So, as fast as I could, I left him alone and went back at home so that I could finish some liquor bottle by myself.
                          
The next time we hung out we weren't alone. All of our mutual friends were also there, which helped me to not to feel a lot more awkward. The party was a blast. I danced and drank and laughed with everyone. Calum was not even on my mind. That was until I went to take some air at four a.m. when I saw him on one of the swings in Mike's backyard. Slowly, I made my way to the other swing and sat. He finally looked at me and I took my time to look at him carefully. His curly hair was a bit messy, his forehead was sweaty from all the dancing and the heat. His right hand was holding a bottle of beer. After we scanned each other, he offered me a sip of his beer. I refused; I knew that if I kept on drinking I would end up in the hospital.
                          
"The sky looks beautiful tonight." He mumbled, breaking the silence. Turning myself to see the sky, I was shocked to see so many stars.
                          
"I've never seen so many stars." My voice was no louder than a whisper.
                          
"Well, then you better enjoy the show" I let out a chuckle.
                          
"What are you doing here, Calum?" I asked after a few silent moments. He took a sip before answering me.
                          
"What do you mean?"
                          
"I mean, you are never one to turn down a party. And I can tell you that the party is getting wild." He furrowed his eyebrows and looked back at me. I could tell that he was confused by my statement.
                          
"What do you mean by "I never turn down a party"?"
                          
"I've known you for three months and the only times we've met were the best parties in Sydney. And, also, your reputation precedes you. No offense, though." Everything I heard about him was how much he liked going to parties just to get wasted.
                          
"None taken. It's just whatever..." He ran his hand through his black hair. "I wasn't enjoying much the party, to be honest."
                          
"Why's that?"