Part 98: Disposable

                                    

                                          
        
                          
I sat on my bed alone in my room. Rain fell gently from the night sky. My lights were off, but lightning occasionally flashed and illuminated my room for a moment. In one of the flashes, I saw Alice staring back at me from across the room. 
                          
	"All of my friends are dead." I said in defeat. Alice smiled with no remorse.
                          
	"Yes, I know." she said.
                          
	"I'm guessing you don't give a shit. You once claimed to be our friend, and now you don't even care that everyone's gone and it's all your fault!" I said. She shook her head.
                          
	"They were my soldiers. Do you feel bad for every man that goes to war?"
                          
	"Yes! War is a terrible thing!" I said.
                          
	"But, do you feel responsible on a personal level even though the people that go to war claim to be fighting for you? For your country? You don't even know the ones who die for you."
                          
	"So you mean to say that my friends dying while fighting demons is the same as a soldier dying for their country."
                          
	"Absolutely. For I am their queen the moment they sign a contract with me." Alice explained. "You would be my soldier too if you had listened to me from the start like the others." She took my hand in hers but I pulled away. "Oh, come on, Nora. Humans and demons have been interacting since the birth of history!" she said. "We have been walking beside you since the very beginning, granting your wishes and taking our rewards. Some humans have even formed contracts with royal demons like me and have moved up in ranks to noblemen. They themselves had long fulfilling lives until karma caught up with them in the end."
                          
	"What do you mean by that?" I asked.
                          
	"All wishes come with a price. You always wake from a dream. Nothing is free." she said. I shivered. "No matter what era it is, humans are always greedy. But that's ok. That is how it's supposed to be. If you are kind, this cruel world will destroy you. None of your dreams will come true if you are afraid of hurting anyone else in order to achieve them."
                          
	"You lied to all of my friends. They were willing to fight for you, and you threw them away like trash!" I said.
                          
	"I didn't lie to them. I merely left out some parts of the truth. And besides, I didn't throw them away. They threw themselves away after they realized the harsh reality of this world. They died right when they learned that there was no way that their dreams would come true. Mackenzie wanted friendship. Jordan wanted love. Casper wanted acceptance. All of them fell into despair before they could ever fully experience what they had been searching for their whole lives. Mackenzie died alone shortly after defending you. Jordan died of heartbreak, and Casper died out of desperation trying to save Jordan. You humans make such a mess." Alice chuckled. "If you want something, and you are willing to put your life on the line in order to get it, then somehow, in some way, that desire will either backfire on you or someone you care about. That is how the universe is so balanced. It is the natural order. If you don't like that, then you will never be able to satisfy any of your desires." she smiled wickedly. "But, knowing you I don't think that will be such a big deal. It's not like you have any dreams to fight for like your friends did. You have everything! You have a family that adores you, you go to a fancy private school in a rich city, and if you ever needed something, your parents would bend over backwards to make sure you got it. And yet, you complain! You hate your life! You hate yourself! All because you were born without powers! You are the most ungrateful brat I've ever met! You may be kind to others, but you are not kind to yourself! And that is just pathetic! Even for a human!" Alice said. I glared at her and stood up from my bed. I grabbed my purse and my cell phone and pushed past her towards the door.
                          
	"I might be ungrateful when it comes to myself, but unlike you I cherish my friends! You are the one that took them all away from me! You are the pathetic one! You found people that actually cared about you, and you led them on a path to self-destruction all for your own self gain! I might not have always appreciated what I had until I had to face a day when I didn't have it anymore! Now, I will never take anyone else for granted." I said. Alice continued to smile calmly as another flash of lightning illuminated the room.
                          
	"Friendship is still nothing compared to a kingdom." she said. With that, I left her alone in my room, and snuck down to my car. I had to see someone.