But we don't see eye to eye....

                                    

                                          
Demi 
                          
After my Atlanta show, I got on my bus to head to Charlotte, trying not to think about Nick, of course. He had been texting & calling & I was ignoring him. I wasn't sure how long I could keep ignoring him. I was starting to feel a little guilty, but I didn't want to tell him that this thing we started was over, until we were together in person. I thought that was only fair. The thing that worried me was that our friendship was going to be over. I didn't want to lose him as my friend. I loved him in that way, I knew that for sure. I just couldn't be with him in any other way. It was too painful to keep going on like this. Maybe one day, if we both were single & we could be in public together, then we could see if it would work. Right now, we were both thinking with our genitals & not our hearts. If we were thinking with our hearts, we wouldn't be hurting two innocent people who loved us.
                          
It felt great to climb into my hotel bed once we got to Charlotte. I was starting to feel human again after the flu ravaged my body for a week. I was looking forward to sleeping in, a little, the next morning. I had a lot of things going on while I was in Charlotte, so I wanted my sleep. I hung out with all the girls that afternoon & we went to a movie & had dinner. It was great. I was going to a Children's hospital for Ryan Seacrest's foundation the morning of my show, so I didn't stay out too long.
                          
Back in my hotel room, I got ready for bed & curled up under the covers to watch tv. At about 8 p.m. there was a knock on the door. I figured it was Natalie or something, so I threw the door open, not even thinking. Nick stood there with his hands in his pockets, looking serious. I sucked in my breath, shocked to see him.
                          
"Now you can't ignore me." He said, anger evident in his tone. God, I forgot how gorgeous he was.
                          
"Nick." I whispered. "What are... you... doing here?" I stammered.
                          
Nick glanced around, nervously. "Can I come in before someone sees me?"
                          
I opened the door & he came in, quickly. I closed the door & held my breath for a moment before I turned around. I wasn't expecting to do this now, but here he was. Slowly, I turned from the door to see his sad brown eyes as they bore into my soul. I had to look away. Was I in lust right now? Was this feeling love or lust? It was so hard to tell.
                          
Nick sat his backpack on the dresser. "Why have you been ignoring my texts for the last several days?" Nick asked, sounding so hurt.
                          
I sighed, walking into the room & sitting on the bed, where I had been earlier. Nick kept standing, like he was unsure if I wanted him to stay or not. I wasn't answering him fast enough. He sighed, rolled his eyes to the ceiling, then leaned on the dresser, crossing his arms. He stared at me with his boss face on. This was the face that I saw during rehearsals when he was seeing something he needed to change or fix. "I've been busy & I saw how busy you were."
                          
Nick's eyebrows came together as he smirked. "Whatever, Demi. Don't lie to me. What is going on?"
                          
"I think we need to stop this. It's just infatuation since the sex was so amazing. Nothing more. We don't love each other in that way." I made an exaggerated roll of my eyes & a sound of disgust came from my throat. "We're just friends who benefited for a minute." I tried to smile.
                          
"You're joking right? How can you say we don't love each other that way? How can you say it's just sex?"
                          
"Because that's all it's been." I said, quietly.
                          
Nick stood up & ran his fingers through his hair before he sat on the end of the bed. He folded one leg up & played with his shoe for a moment. "You don't love me." It was a statement, not a question.
                          
"Not as anything more than a friend." I could feel a lump forming in my throat. I hated hurting him like this. "I love Wilmer."
                          
Nick winced, then looked at me, his eyes full of sadness & disappointment. "It didn't feel like you loved Wilmer the last night we were together." His voice was bitter now.
                          
"Out of sight, out of mind." I said, shrugging my shoulders. "And you love Olivia. You should just stay with her. You looked awful cozy with her. She makes you happy. I saw it in the selfie you took with her."
                          
Nick's face lit up with a revelation. "That's what this is!" He almost shouted, standing up. He let out a chuckle, shaking his head. "You think I'm happy with Olivia, so you're pushing me away." He stared at me with a satisfied smile on his face. I shook my head & started to speak, but he stopped my words with his own. "You're upset about the pictures of us from vacation."
                          
I stood up, angry now. "Damn right. Did you have sex with her while you were on your vacation?" I asked in a loud voice. Nick looked down at the floor, hiding his guilty eyes. "Of course you did!" Hot tears were filling my eyes now. "Do you know how that feels thinking about you having sex with her? IT SUCKS! That's how it feels." I was sobbing now, wiping frantically at the falling tears. "Then to see you lovingly caressing her hair by the pool or holding her hand in the ocean or taking a selfie with her & you're all smiling proudly.... it only made things worse." My words were starting to not sound coherent, so I stopped talking to cover my face with my hands.
                          
I was only sobbing, into my hands, for a few seconds before I felt Nick's arms around me. He held me close as I sobbed into his chest. He rubbed my hair, shushing in my ear. "Demi, I know you probably won't believe me, but I swear to God, I was thinking about you every second we were apart." Nick was whispering, breaking my heart. Was that true? "The picture you saw with my hand in her hair was me asking her about changing her hair because I was thinking about what you said about being opposites. And the selfie we took, I was smiling proudly because the second before I took that picture, 'Neon Lights' came on the radio."
                          
I looked up at him, sniffing. "You're lying."
                          
"I swear on my brothers lives." He smiled at me. "And as far as loving each other, I know I love you more than just my friend. I know I'm in love with you. Because not once when I thought about you, did I think about your body or sex with you. I thought about your eyes that make my heart race or your smile that always makes me feel like I could do anything. I missed you. Our conversations. Our laughs. All of it. Not the sex, even though that's amazing as well."
                          
I pulled myself away from Nick's body & sat on the bed. "I'm sorry, Nick. I just don't think I can do this until you break up with her. If you break up with her." I played with my hands, avoiding his eyes.
                          
"I want to be with you, Demi. I'm trying to figure out the best time to dump her. I promise."
                          
"I don't think you will." My eyes finally looked up at his face. "It's just how I feel. I think you're too afraid of the aftermath. I think you like the limelight."
                          
Nick threw his head back in a loud laugh. "Are you serious? I can't stand it. You know that, Demi. Better than anyone. We have had many conversations about it, in fact."
                          
"It doesn't matter. I can't be with you, knowing you're having sex with Olivia." I shrugged my shoulders.
                          
"You're having sex with Wilmer." Nick's eyebrow was raised in triumph.
                          
"Is this a competition? Of course I'm going to have sex with Wilmer. He's my boyfriend. Just like Olivia is your girlfriend. This is wrong, Nick. We have to stop this before someone gets hurt."
                          
Nick hung his head as his hands went to his hips again. He inhaled & exhaled several times. "I know this is wrong, but I don't want to stop." He said to the floor.
                          
"I don't either, but we HAVE to." I said, quietly, looking up at him, wrenching my neck to see his face.
                          
He looked at me & I saw a tear flash in his eye. "I can't get a flight out until morning. Can I stay in here?"
                          
I shook my head, slowly. "Not a good idea."
                          
Nick's eyes went to the ceiling as he sucked in his bottom lip, biting it, gently with his teeth. "I promise I won't touch you. I'll sleep on the couch." He nodded his head to the small sofa in the room. "We don't even have to talk. I'll go right to sleep." He looked serious, no smile whatsoever on his face.
                          
I sighed. I was going to regret this. "Fine." I grabbed a pillow from my bed & tossed it to him. "Sweet dreams." I got back under the covers of the bed & laid down, staring at the ceiling. He let out a frustrated breath & headed to the couch. I watched the tv, trying to ignore Nick in my peripheral vision as he took off his jacket, then his shoes, then his flannel shirt, then... oh Jesus, his jeans. He laid on the couch wearing his boxers & his white T-shirt. God, you sure know how to torture a girl. I had to curse God when Nick stood up & took off his shirt before lying back down on the couch.