February 5 Years Ago
The week following the death, Beyoncé didn't go back to school. She in fact refused to get up from her bed or even move. Most of the time she slept but her dreams were dominated by images of Kelly walking away, usually smiling invitingly at Beyoncé and beckoning her to follow but Beyoncé was always rooted to the spot and couldn't chase after her until Kelly disappeared from sight. She'd wake up from these dreams and curl up in a ball and cry. Gone was the warmth of Kelly's smile replaced by the cold darkness and the realization sink in that she was not lying next to her. There were many days where she wished she didn't have to wake up to the fact that Kelly was not brushing the hair back from her eyes or telling her that the past week was just a bad dream.
Her parents couldn't get her to eat, or talk and would only leave her room on rare occasions. Her mother knocked on the door to her room for the fiftieth time, trying to persuade her daughter to come out.
"Bey?" Her mother whispered. "Please come out. Honey, your dad and I are worried sick about you. Come out and talk to us please." She had repeated the same exact sentence multiple times over the week and she didn't expect this particular time to work either without anything extra to add. This time, she held a letter in one hand.
"We just got a letter from Kelly's parents. They said the funeral is in three days." She waited and heard the soft sobs fade. That usually meant that Beyoncé had exhausted herself to sleep. Just as she was about to head downstairs, Beyoncé opened the door. Her usually bright amber eyes were dull and red from crying and there were still fresh tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Mom..." Beyoncé's voice shook so hard it seemed like she would fall apart at any moment. Her mother fought back her own tears at seejng her daughter in such a state. She walked over and cradled Beyoncé in her arms.
"It's ok, baby." She answered.
"No it's not, mom. I loved her." Beyoncé cried.
"I know baby..." Beyoncé tore herself from her mom's embrace.
"I really loved her." Beyoncé repeated it over and over and her mother kept whispering comforting words, knowing that they were doing little to ease the pain.
That night Beyoncé had her first meal. It was simple, just a peanut butter sandwich and milk but it was a something. Her mother sat next to her and watched her eat. Beyoncé had to pause several times and just cry but it would pass and she'd take another bite until she finally finished.
"Bey, take a shower. You've been stuck in your room all week." Her mother suggested and Beyoncé mechanically got up from the table and walked upstairs. Her mother cleaned up the dishes and sighed softly to herself. It was a start.
Everyone from the show choir and cheerleading clubs attended the funeral. There was not a single dry eye in the crowd the day they buried sunshine embodied. But there was one person who didn't attend and her absence was the most glaring thing that day. Beyoncé was no where to be seen. Solange looked around and texted her furiously ensuring the entire thing, trying to figure out what possessed Beyoncé to miss such an important day.
"Where is she?" Michelle whispered. Solange shrugged and mouthed "I don't know."
It was around ten at night when a figure walked through the cemetery. In her hands she held a bouquet of yellow daisies, Kelly's favorite flowers. Beyoncé knelt down before the grave and put down the flowers among the others.
"Hey Kels..." She whispered before she broke down in quiet sobs, hand rested on the top of the gravestone.
It was like Beyoncé missed much of school. They were close to winter break anyway so Beyoncé got through classes by counting down the minutes until she could speed off to the graveyard and sit down next to Kelly's grave. Her parents only saw her late at night when she returned, curled up in bed and fell asleep. Every week Beyoncé brought flowers, even when it snowed and covered everything. She dusted the snow off before setting the flowers down.
