CHAPTER 12

                                    

                                          
Chapter Twelve- Do I stay or do I go? 
                          

                          

                          
One minute, no not even a full minute, one second we were in a concrete room, the next we were in a gallery overhead an operating theater, a place I understood. As I gazed down I could see what the surgeons below were doing, they were fixing her wrist and I could tell that they had already corrected her ankle. The operating room was top of the line filled with a heart-lung bypass machine, ventilator, infusion pump and crash cart. Rainella was hooked up to many different machines, those I mentioned and most important she had an aortic balloon pump which is what help the most of my attention. Why? Because this instrument, this amazing device was pumping my mates heart, displayed her heart pressure and EGC reads. I was grateful for this machine because her heart was truly weakened, probably caused by all the medication forced into her body. Even in my human form I could tell that she was given doses of oxycontin and wolfs bane but I could also smell the cocaine. As I watched them with hands in side my mate I had to take a huge, nosy breath so that my wolf could simmer down.
                          

                          
1:17pm.
                          

                          

                          
I had been awake for almost 11 hours but it really felt longer, longer that only that. I hadn’t felt this out of control since I was 15 years old; over the years I had nurtured myself, molded everything about me into the human version of an operating theater, cold.
                          

                          

                          
My personality, entire being was cold, uncaring and ruthless to anyone that wasn’t a patient. Most that have had the fortune to either be a doctor or scrub nurse and not a patient in one did not know just how sterile the environment needed too be. The long lists of protocols to ensure positive patient care. However spend time with me and you would know, I’m intelligent and enough so to capture attention like a bright light and the rooms like me was cold to stave off infections. I was cold to prevent the heartache I felt when I remembered my sister and how I let her down, cold on the outside let me partially live.
                          

                          

                          

                          
That’s what I was doing, have been doing, partially living my life. I kept my family at a distance, had have over a thousand noncommittal sexual relations with women. It has never been abot more than just a release, and that was the ugly truth. I never led anyone on, I told every single woman from the jump that It would never lead or end with us married, 3.5 children, white fence and happily ever after ending.
                          

                          

                          

                          
Over the years the only person that would understand that was Anna, but the only people I didn’t keep away from or treat coldly was being operated on and the other sitting next to me watching someone we both loved but in different ways.
                          

                          

                          

                          
My engagement to Anna was not because I loved her, it was because I knew she would never ask for more than I was capable of giving her. Also since no one else in our family had been able to conceive and the pack needed Alpha heirs the responsibility fell on us.
                          

                          

                          

                          
It had been completely silent for a while, I could see that Rainella would spend another hour or two in this room having an operation, one that should not be needed but if she was ever going to have a pain-free shift or life it was necessary.