Fighting

                                    

                                          
     Arizona POV
Xxxx
I woke up with Callie's arms wrapped around me tight. Last night was the best night ever. And I actually remembered it this time. 
"Callie," I spoke softly, "its time to wake up."
It was 10:15 AM, and we were technically supposed to pick Sofia up today. 
"What time is it?" Callie questioned in a sleepy voice.
"About 10:15, why don't we get up?"
She turned over and leaned in to kiss my forehead. "I love you."
I smiled. "I love you too."
All of a sudden, Callie's pager went off. "Aw man!"
It was a 911 page. She had to get to the hospital now, which disappointed me; I wanted to go out again. "Arizona, I have to go, Dr. Bailey needs me."
"Okay, should I come too?" I hoped she say yes.
"Okay, but I call the shower first."
We both got ready as quickly as possible. As I was grabbing my purse to head out with Callie, my pager also went off with a 911. "Well perfect timing," I said annoyingly.
We climbed into the car and started driving towards Grey Sloan.
                          
Scrambling out of the car, we rushed into the building. I had an emergency appendectomy; a little boy had been feeling severe stomach pains, then had gone unconscious. His appendix had ruptured. I had been seeing some child patients recently because Karev was out for a while.
Callie on the other hand, had a middle aged man that dislocated his hip, and it was cutting off the blood flow to his leg. Hearing that, my leg with the prosthetic started to ache. I still had problems with phantom limb, even though it had been quite a while since I lost my leg.
                          
Rushing to the OR, I quickly scrubbed in, changing into some scrubs and pulling my scrub cap over my head. As I finished scrubbing, the monitors started to beep, signaling the child had bradycardia. I had to act fast. 
"Robbins we need you here now!"
I rushed into the OR, and got to work. We removed all of the ruptured appendix, and had sterilized his abdominal cavity, but the child still wasn't stable. I looked up across the table. The child probably had a major bleed in his abdomen. Crap, I thought. Dr. Wilson was standing across from me.
"Wilson, did you remove the entire appendix from the bowel?"
"Yes Dr. Robbins of course I did."
Okay, I thought. Wilson must have punctured an artery. We were doing this laparoscopically, I feared the worst. 
As I moved the camera around, I found the source of the bleeding. Shit! Jo had hit the abdominal aorta. We needed to stop the bleed. 
"Suction please!" I took lead of the operation.
Unfortunately, it was too late. We had made a larger incision to relieve the bleeding and replace his blood volume, but the kid had already lost too much blood. I looked over to see his face turning paler. We had replaced his blood volume five times. This kid had no hope.
"We're packing him up."
Wilson looked awful. She knew she had made a horrible mistake. "Wilson, hands off the patient."
She continued to pack him. "HANDS OFF the patient!" I said again, louder this time.
She removed her hands from the little boy's abdomen. The child had flatlined.
"Time of death 16:42."
We removed the intubation equipment from his lungs, and wheeled him out of the OR. I pulled my bloodstained gloves off, and threw them away, along with the piece covering my scrubs.
I knew I couldn't let Wilson back into the OR for a while. She had failed a simple laparoscopic appendectomy, which proved to me she wasn't ready.
                          
As I exited the scrub room, I found Wilson with her head buried in her hands. She looked devastated.
I stood next to her, leaning against the wall with her. 
"It's time to tell the parents," I said slowly.
"I'm so sorry Dr. Robbins. I let this patient down and I let you down! I'm so sorry!" She had tears streaming down her face as she said it.
"This was my first kid to lose," she said sadly. I looked at her. I wasn't going to say anything about her not operating to her right now. 
"We all make mistakes, Jo. It's ones like these we don't want to ever happen again. Now let's go tell the parents. Look at me Wilson."
She had hung her head as I spoke to her. She lifted it up.
"You can do this."
She nodded to me. "I will tell them."
We walked down the hall, took a few turns and found the parents sitting in the waiting area. As we approached, they both stood up with worried looks on their faces. 
"Is Tyler okay? Is he fine? How did the surgery go?"
This was the part so dreaded about pediatric surgery. Telling the parents that their child died during surgery. I took a deep breath.
"Your son unfortunately did not make it through the surgery. We are so sorry."
Jo spoke up. "His abdominal aorta was punctured, he lost too much blood and became bradycardic. I am so sorry." She turned around and sped walked down the corridor.
"I'm so sorry about this."
The mom started to break down. Her shoulders heaving, she sat down, crying and longing for her son. The father sat next to her and wiped his eyes. 
I turned around to go find Jo. I could feel tears that I was trying to hold back. It was always sad losing a kid, that you thought you could save but it just didn't happen. You feel bad, almost guilty, you let yourself feel sad, or even angry with yourself, then you move on to the next kid, so you can save their life.
As I rounded a corner, I found Jo leaning against a crash cart. 
I stood there. I wasn't really sure what to say, so I patted her on the back. 
"I'm sorry, Robbins. I couldn't contain myself. I should know how to do this."
"Wilson. You can feel sad. You can feel guilty. You will move on. It's going to sting. A lot. I remember when I lost my first kid."
He had Stage 4 leukemia. We had tried all of the chemotherapy drugs there was to offer. We were thinking a stem cell transplant. I wasn't his doctor. I just became his friendZ he was a funny kid. I could talk to him for hours. One day, I went to check on him, but he had passed. The cancer beat him to it. He had been fighting for a long time. He had lost the battle.
I realized tears had started to fall from my eyes. I brushed them away before Jo could see that I had become emotional. I was her mentor, so she needed a strong teacher, not one who started crying because of a bad memory.
Callie suddenly was running down the hall.
"Arizona! We fixed the hip on that person! We were so close to amputating, but..."
Callie looked at me and realized that I had started to cry. I didn't care at this point if Wilson saw me. "I'm so so sorry Arizona. That hit a nerve, I shouldn't have said that."
"No Callie it's fine, I'm sorry, we just lost a little boy."
Jo decided to walk away at this point. "Um...I'll see you tomorrow Dr. Robbins." She turned around and walked away.
"Aww I'm so sorry." Callie enveloped me in a big hug. 
"Usually I don't get this emotional, I just remembered losing my first kid," I tried to explain to Callie.
"Let's go home."
"Okay."