Chapter 11: Bed Sheets

                                    

                                          
Okay, first off, I shouldn’t be typing because my eyes are dilated and I can’t see a freaking thing because everything is so blurry and looking at anything give me a headache (so, right now, my skull is basically raging.)
                          
Second, I apologize for the poopy past updates.  I was very tired and out of it but I wanted to get the updates out.  Hopefully, the next few will be better.  I’ve been extremely stressed out recently.
                          
Third, you guys should look up The Search (ft. Koda) by Bronze Whale.  Robbie posted about this song on twitter and it’s so amazing. He has some pretty brilliant music taste might I say.  I listened to this song on stick when I typed this so maybe listen to it as you read idk ;-) just my recommendation ;-) aka do it ;-)
                          
So yeah, if you guys want to follow me on any social media, check my bio ;) all of it is there.
                          
And thank you for 2.3K, plus all your votes and comments!  You guys are truly amazing(:
                          
 
                          
Chapter 11: Bed Sheets
                          
                 
                          
I needed time to think.
                          
I needed time to dwell in my thoughts, I needed time to bask in the darkness of my blackout curtains and shut door.
                          
And so, I stayed home from school for three days.
                          
Both my parents work, so I had three days, (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday) to evaporate in the thickness of a black daylight all by myself.
                          
The shades of my windows were dark enough to eclipse any incoming daylight, so it looked like night even in the afternoon.  I woke bright and early to watch Robbie get into his truck, glance at my window, and then shake his head and drive away every morning before school.
                          
I don’t know if my friends have wondered where I was, or even if Robbie cares.  I’ve kept my phone off to avoid any incoming texts or calls.  I didn’t want distractions, because this was a three day thought process, three days to cry or trap myself in my sheets for deep meditation.  I need to think about the kiss.
                          
I didn’t want to think about it, really.  But, for my own well-being, I need to come to a decision on what I’ll allow between Robbie and I.  That is, if there is something between us.  There could, quite be, at least a foundation for the two of us, because he was so involved with Jackson and I, plus, well, he kissed me.  But, then again, he could’ve just been curious, and he could be taking advantage of me like Jackson had.  Or, he was trying to see how I’d react and if I wanted him?
                          
I do.  I do want him.  Within four weeks, I found myself highly interested in him.  I found myself thinking about him more often than not and glancing through the hallways to find his familiar brown hair and forest eyes.  I like his skin and his defined jaw-line, and I liked the way his body looked when he moved.  I liked that he was tall, 5’9, 5’10?  He smelled like the grass after it rains, his breathing sounded something pleasant, when he grunts in his sleep my heart freezes in time for a moment or two.  I’ll never fathom how he got me crushing on him so quickly.
                          
On the other hand, maybe these three days of thinking shouldn’t have happened.  I’ve had too much time to myself, too much time to think, too much time to dwell on the beauty of him and less on what to hate.
                          
I’ll let him, I decided.  I decided I’ll be what he wants me to be. 
                          
Taking chances.
                          
But then, I remembered Danielle.
                          
I remembered that she doesn’t want me near him, and she most certainly won’t want me with him.  
                          
Oh, I had so much time to think.  72 hours is a long, long time.