There's one thing I remember from my drunken night. Ashley needed to tell me something, he said it could wait until tomorrow. It was tomorrow. I shake Ash a little bit and he wakes up after a while.
Me: You said last night that you would tell me what's wrong tomorrow. It's tomorrow...
Ash: Why does the world have to be so mean?
Me: Because no matter what no one can ever be truly complete. They always feel like they're missing something so get pissed at it and take it out through their actions.
Ash: I know Kyle texts you those horrible things. Don't believe them. They're not true. They'll never be true. I love you so much Dina.
Me: I know Ash. But that doesn't make the hurt go away.
Ash: I love you. I haven't felt love before you came along. Please don't believe him?
Me: I love you too.
He nuzzles into my neck and I kiss his head. It was around noon. But that didn't stop the two of us from falling asleep again.
We woke back up at around three and I shoved Ash off of me kind of rudely. He gets up and fallows me to the bathroom door. I slam it in his face. I know what I had to do.
I showered and that made me even more ready for what I'll have to face today. I settled with no make-up and walked out to the bedroom again.
Ash: Babe? Why are you mad?
I shake my head and get dressed in black shorts and a white tank top. It was spring so why the heck not? Plus this is LA and it always feels like summer.
I put on my black sandals and grabbed my purse before walking out of the door. Ignoring everyone's questioning looks.
I sort of slammed on the gas and pulled off onto the streets. It was a long trip but it needed to happen.
--//--(hours 1-7)--//--
I drove with the radio on softly listening to mostly commercials. Sometimes I'll him along. My phone was in the passenger seat and I must've had a million calls and texts from Ash and the guys.
I almost ran over a squirrel but thankfully I slammed on the brakes fast enough to save its life. I smiled and the little animal and I could've sworn he waved at me.
I pulled over to get iced tea at a gas station along with a few road snacks. Mostly energy drinks and chips. I got some cereal bars but those where if I got desperate.
--//--(hours 8-14)--//--
I stopped at a gas station at least three times to pee. One to get more food. I still haven't answered Ash and it was dark now.
The music was a little louder now. I didn't feel tired at all but knowing my body I should probably sleep. Maybe I could go the whole 35 hours without sleep.
That's a nice challenge on our hands...
--//--(hours 15-21)--//--
I ended up pulling into an empty lot and locking the windows before I reclined the seat back and curled into the seat.
And soon I was asleep...
--//--(hours 22-35)--//--
I drove and drove. I was beginning to regret my choice but I had to do this. I parked the car at the apartment building that looked a few years old. I left my purse in the car and locked my car.
I marched up the stairs and pounded on the door so loudly. It was 1 am and everyone was sleeping. But I didn't care. I banged on the door one more time before it finally opened revealing a person who I once called a friend.
Kyle: Go home Dina.
Me: Is you really meant those things you would say them to my face!
Kyle: Go. Home.
Me: God! You're such a freaking coward! You can't even stand up to your ex and ex best friend!
Kyle: FINE! YOUR UGLY! YOU'RE DUMBER THAN A ROCK! THE ONLY REASON YOU HAVE EVER HAD A BOYFRIEND WAS BECAUSE IS GUYS FEEL SORRY FOR YOU!! ASHLEY DOESMT LOVE YOU Dina! IF HE REALLY DID LOVE YOU, YOU WOULD HAVE THE COPS LOOKING FOR YOU BECAUSE HE WAS SO WORRIED OVER A DUMB A** F*****G B****!!
Me: I know he was your friend too. That's how we met.
Kyle: Don't bring him into this! Don't you dare!
Me: When I broke up with him you were so happy. I never did find out why.
Kyle: It was because you don't deserve someone like him!
Me: When he killed himself-
Kyle: You made him!
Me: I thought I did too. But that's the funny thing about suicide. It's definition. Suicide is when you kill yourself.
Kyle: Then you murdered him.
Me: I did. Didn't I? No, I actually didn't. He had the gun. He pulled the trigger. I just so happened to be the reason why he did just that.
Kyle: Go. Home. Dina.
Me: My house is 35 hours away. I slept maybe for 4 hours.
Kyle: then you can make it back just fine. Goodbye.
Me: Good talking to you. I'm happy that you feel that way about me.
And I left him dumbfound. I walked down the stairs and started my car. I pulled out and headed to the nearest hotel.
I didn't sleep that night. Or any of the nights while I stayed at the hotel. It's been a whole week and I haven't talked to any of the boys or Callie.
Missed calls from Ash<3 (79)
Ash: Where did you go?
Ash: It's been a few hours. Please comeback?
Ash: Dina? Can you talk to me?
Ash: Dina. I'm getting even more worried. Where are you?
Ash: Dina. Come home. I love you.
Ash: I love you Dina. Please come home it's been a whole day. I can't sleep without you here.
Ash: Dina?
Ash: Please say your still alive.
Ash: You looked so angry when you left.
Ash: Did I say something wrong?
Ash: Will you ever even see these?
Ash: we called your brother to see if you were with him.
Ash: he said no...
Ash: Where are you? It's been three days!
Ash: I swear if this is my fault I'll never do anything ever again. I just want you back. I love you.
Ash: I love you Dina.
That wasn't all of them. The last one was sent a few hours ago. I was going back today. It took a day and a half to get back, I'll just drive all day an night like I did last time. I text him back.
Me: I love you too.
Ash: Oh my god. Are you okay?
Me: Yes. I'll be him in no less than two days. Get some sleep love.
Ash: I love you.
I fall asleep ago the busy street outside my window.....
