Arguing

                                    

                                          
"What?" I asked in disbelief into the phone. 
                          
"You mean you didn't know?" Andrew's voice came through the speaker. 
                          
"No. He hasn't mentioned it. How long have you guys known about it?" I ran a hand through my hair. 
                          
"Less than a week. Only four or five days."
                          
"Five days? And no one thought to tell me?"
                          
"I'm sure Shawn was planning on it."
                          
"When are you guys leaving?"
                          
"April 14th."
                          
Today was March 19th. It was happening in less than a month. 
                          
I shook my head. "Listen, Andrew, I have to go."
                          
"Don't be too hard on him. He never meant to hurt you."
                          
I didn't respond, and I hung up. I couldn't believe Shawn hadn't told me that he was going on tour for a year. And apparently I wasn't going. That would be an entire year with Shawn. That was going to suck. But what I was really upset about was that he didn't tell me. This was going to be a huge part of his life, and he hadn't even mentioned it to me. According to Andrew, he was going to tell me but when? The day before he left? Like "Hey, babe, I kind of forgot to tell you, but I'm leaving for a year. The flight's tomorrow!" 
                          
He was at the studio with Geoff right now, but when he came back, he was going to get an earful. I was a whole-hearted supporter of his career, and I knew that he was going to have to leave sometimes, but I wanted him to tell me about it. I wasn't entirely happy about him leaving for a year. I was going to be very lonely. But I was mostly upset that he hadn't told me. 
                          
I sighed and got up and went to the calendar in the kitchen. We had 28 days left. Less than a month. Just 28 days until he was gone for a year. I knew that we would talk almost every single day, but it wouldn't be the same. If I was 100% honest with myself, I wasn't sure if our relationship could take that. I was definitely willing to try, but long distance relationships rarely worked out. I leaned against the kitchen doorframe and gnawed on my lower lip. I glanced at the clock, which read 6:29pm. Shawn would be home soon. As if on cue, I heard a car pull into the driveway and a few seconds later, keys rattled against the front door. Shawn stepped through the door with his guitar bag slung over his shoulders. He dropped his keys on the table next to the door. Then he went to his office to put his guitar away. When he came back, he washed his hands in the kitchen sink, then he turned around and smiled at me. I didn't return it, and his happiness turned to confusion. 
                          
"What's wrong?" he asked, tilting his head slightly. 
                          
"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked. 
                          
"Why didn't I tell you what?" His confusion on his face increased. 
                          
"That you're going on tour for a year!"
                          
"Oh. That."
                          
"Yes. That. Why didn't you tell me?"
                          
"I thought you supported my singing career."
                          
"I do. But that's not what I'm upset over. I'm upset because you didn't tell me," I explained. 
                          
"I swear I was going to tell you, but..." he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. 
                          
"But what? What would make you wait?" I moved to look at him directly, looking him in the eye. 
                          
"I don't know." He turned around to face the window above the sink. His hands rested on the edge of the counter, and his shoulders hunched slightly. 
                          
"What do you mean you don't know? There had to be a reason."
                          
"There was, but it wasn't a good one. It was very selfish. I thought that if I told you, all you would think about was me leaving, and it would mess up everything we did together during the time. I thought you would start acting different, and I didn't want that." He didn't face me while he spoke. 
                          
"Shawn," I sighed in exasperation. "That wasn't going to happen. That isn't going to happen now that I know either. Everything's going to be normal. But I'm still mad at you. You should have told me when you found out. It's going to be a really big thing for you. For us. Honestly, I'm not even sure if we'll be able to make that work."
                          
"I'm sorry, okay?" his voice was flat, and he continued to face the window. 
                          
"I definitely don't want to give up. But a year is a very long time. Calls and Skype just aren't the same thing. Long distance relationships hardly ever work out. I want to actually be with you. Be able to touch you, hug you, kiss you. It won't be the same without you here." I was beginning to ramble. My anger faded, but I was still irritated. Shawn still didn't look at me or show any kind of reaction. Eventually I snapped "Are you even listening to me? You know what? Just forget it. I'll go ahead and pack up my stuff now." My voice wavered slightly, and I was beginning to spin around to head to the bedroom when Shawn turned around and strode towards me. He caught my waist, and he suddenly leaned down and pressed his lips against mine. I stood there, frozen, for a moment before I relaxed and wrapped my arms around his neck, drawing him closer. I realized that I couldn't leave him. I still loved him unconditionally. 
                          
When he pulled away, he automatically began speaking. "I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you. Please, don't go. I want to work this out. You're going with me on this tour, or I'm not going. I'll tell Andrew tomorrow. Please don't leave me." There was genuine desperation in his eyes, and I smiled. 
                          
"I'm not going anywhere."
                          
Shawn smiled back at me and leaned down to kiss me again. 
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I know I said The Cabin part would be up, but I still haven't finished writing it. I just threw this one together really fast. It didn't turn out the way I wanted it to, but I still think it's ok
-💜