Chapter 15: "Not Angry"

                                    

                                          
➥Shizuo

                          
I'm not mad at you. I just don't want you to get hurt from hanging out with that flea. You're only going to get hurt if you're around him.
                          
I stared at the text Shizuo had sent me moments before the fight that had put me Dr. Shinra's hospital room. There was a cruel sort of irony to it. All the texts following that one were all sent by me with no response from the receiving end. They all said similar things like
                          
"I know you're mad at yourself but don't take it out on me." 
                          
"Please talk to me." 
                          
"I don't blame you."
                          
And so on... 
                          
I felt like all the things I was texting him were things he'd probably been thinking already. Maybe I was being too pushy. Maybe he just needs some time to think. But I didn't want him to keep thinking about everything alone without talking to me. It would just make him feel worse. But there was nothing I could do.
                          
Meanwhile, being stuck at Shinra's wasn't nearly as bad as being stuck in the hospital. Shinra and Celty cooked good meals and even brought me takeout. While I was told to watch my injuries, Shinra still let me help out with his work and with cooking. All the while, he kept a careful eye on me to make sure I didn't irritate my wound. 
                          
I stayed in Shinra's guest room for only 2 nights before Shinra was certain I wouldn't re-open the gash on my arm on accident. I was sure the first night was mandatory, but the second was surely only to let Shizuo and I cool down. Shinra may act a little dumb, but he was strangely perceptive sometimes.
                          
Apparently Shizuo had dropped off some essentials when he heard I'd be stuck in the hospital for another day. While I appreciated the sentiment, he'd done it while I was sleeping, making it clear he had no intention of talking to me. Perhaps he thought it was too awkward that he'd dug through my wardrobe and bathroom to bring me things, but I didn't mind. I guess he'd forgotten that Celty could make clothes out of her shadows.
                          
Since I wasn't completely confined to the guest bedroom, I spent most of my time in the living room chatting with Celty, helping Shinra with his work, reading, playing on my phone, and watching the TV. 
                          
But late at night, I'd stay up and write. My editor was going to kill me if I didn't finish before the deadline. I hadn't written anything for the last week or so. I took the time to finish my current novel so that my editor would kill me next time I saw her. Then I began writing another story. One of the few good things this incident had caused was inspiration for my books. 
                          
Finally, it was time to be released from the "hospital". Though the cut on my arm wasn't even close to being fully healed, I was so glad to get out of there. I needed space and fresh air that wasn't just from an open window. And as much as I liked Shinra and Celty's apartment/workspace and both of its inhabitants, I felt like I was really intruding on their relationship. It was obvious they were in love with each other. Or at least, that a young doctor was crushing on a certain dulahan. 
                          
I thanked both Shinra and Celty for everything and asked what the bill was. I got a shocking answer: Shizuo had already paid the fee. He was caring for me even though he refused to text or speak with me. He hadn't even visited since the first day. It made me angry. If he would just talk with me, I think it would all work out and everything would be normal again.
                          
"Haru-cha~an!"
                          
I recognized that voice immediately. Oh shit. 
                          
"How nice to see you! What a coincidence."
                          
HA! As if! I was sure it wasn't just a coincidence that Izaya was walking up the the building at the exact time I was leaving. I didn't respond, or even acknowledge his presence. I continued walking and pretended he wasn't there. I didn't want talk to him, see him, or hear whatever annoying things he had to say.