Chapter Nineteen

                                    

                                          
Chapter 19
                          
Natalie reaches out across the table.  One of her hands grabs hold of mine, and the other Zeke's.  What on earth could she be about to say?!  My heart pounds in my chest and Zeke and I exchange a nervous, confused glance.
                          
"My source is Nick Pedrad.  Zeke, Uriah... your father is alive."
                          
I can't hear anything but the roar of my blood pulsing through my veins.  My eyes can't seem to focus on anything in front of me.  My mind seems to be incapable of forming a coherent thought.
                          
Time has no meaning and I have no concept of how long I sit there before I finally register Tris's hands cradling my face.  Her eyes are much grayer than usual as they come into focus, my eyes peering directly into hers.  I see tears pooled in them.  The creases between her eyebrows are more pronounced than I've ever seen them and her lips are pressed together in a straight line.  Slowly the pounding of my own pulse fades and I begin to hear my friends' tense voices.
                          
I look around and see that Zeke and Four aren't in their seats anymore.  In fact, I don't see them anywhere as my eyes dart around the room.
                          
Tris's arms wrap around me, her chin resting on my shoulder, her mouth nearly touching my ear.  "Uriah?  Are you okay?"  I shake my head, no.  Is she serious?  Am I okay?!  I just found out that my father, who has supposedly been dead for twelve years, is actually alive.  Of course I'm not okay!
                          
I close my eyes.  "Where's Zeke?" My voice comes out tight and panicked. 
                          
Tris stands up, taking my hand, and leads me away from the table full of people.  Up the stairs, into a plain gray bedroom, and I follow her out the window onto the fire escape.  We climb, finally ending up on the roof, and there I finally see Zeke and Four.  Tris glances around uncertainly.  "I'll just... go continue the meeting so I can fill you all in later, I guess..."
                          
I want to tell her to stay, that I need her here.  But I seem to have lost the ability to speak, so a moment later Tris is gone, and I stand on the roof staring at my brother and Four with my face and mind blank.
                          
"Uriah, come sit down," Four commands after several minutes of silence.
                          
"Twelve years," Zeke whispers.  "Twelve years, he's been gone and he's been alive this whole time?  Why did he leave us?  Why did he let us think he was dead?  Does Mom know?"  Four and I don't have answers for him; I'm wondering the same thing.
                          
I just shake my head.
                          
"I know how you feel," Four finally says, and I snort.
                          
"How could you possibly know how we feel, Four?!" I yell, standing up, making him jump slightly.  Zeke even looks startled.  I trudge over to the side of the roof and sit on the ledge, my feet dangling off the side in the cool night air.
                          
Four and Zeke appear on either side of me.  Four sighs.  "You know that my mom died when I was nine, right?" he begins.  We nod.  "Well, a few months after I came to Dauntless, a cryptic note appeared on my table while I was out.  The way it was written, it had to be someone who knew me well, and I thought maybe it was my dad but I went anyway."
                          
He glances at Zeke, who probably needs more explanation than I do.  "My father is Marcus Eaton, and the Erudite reports about his mistreatment of his only son are entirely true."
                          
Zeke's eyes widen before he starts in on a series of exclamations.  I patiently wait for him to calm down, and Zeke's eyes narrow when he notices.  "Why don't you look surprised, Uriah?"
                          
"I already knew," I answer.  "I've been in his fear landscape.  To practice for fear sims."
                          
Zeke frowns.  "You trusted him and not me, Four?  I'm your best friend!"