Chapter 15

                                    

                                          
Hi guys, I'm sorry you had to wait so long for an update, I was just really busy and didn't have time to write :'(
                          
BUT I'm back and here is chapter 15!
                          
I hope you enjoy it and please vote and comment :)
                          
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"I'm sorry mam but only close family are allowed in" the nurse at the hospital said. "But I have to see him! I need to see him! Please." I screamed/pleaded.
                          
How can they do it to me? Haven't I went thru enough? Is this my punishment?
                          
This morning I woke up from voices talking inside the hotel room me and my parents stayed in. I went to have a look and found Calum, Michael and Ashton chatting to my parents as if nothing is wrong and the world is a peaceful, happy place. Needless to say that when they saw me that changed. 
                          
My parents forced me to eat breakfast and then we all went to the hospital in hopes that we'll be able to see Luke. It made me nervous and I didn't know what to expect. How damaged will he look? The all to familiar guilt feeling came creeping back again as I thought of him lying there motionless, all because of me. 
                          
A little part inside me says that the others are right and that it isn't my fault but the bigger part still thinks it is. There is a constant internal conflict going on, on top of all the worrying about Luke's health. Ugh, I'm just so emotionally drained.
                          
"I'm sorry but I can't allow you to go in. Like I told you, it's hospital policy" the nurse says again and it feels like I'm going to collapse. All I want to do is see for myself if Luke is really okay and that they aren't just telling me that to make me feel better. Nobody will understand my urge to see him. He is just a few steps away, I can see the door of the room he's in but I can't go any further and it really upsets me.
                          
"Just 5 minutes is all I'm asking. I promise, 5 minutes and then you can come drag me out. Please, I need to see him" I started to cry. "Can't you please let her in? It's fine with us" I heard a woman say and when I looked up I saw that Luke's parents have joined us. "It's not allowed mam but" the nurse says looking like she's debating the problem with herself "I'll turn a blind eye. Miss you have 5 minutes" she says to me. Omw I can't believe this! I'm so happy that I hug her before I run off to go see Luke.
                          
I slowly walk thru the door. I can see him lying there, he looks so peaceful. There are all sorts of pipes stuck into his body and he has a few nasty bruises. It's heartbreaking seeing him like this. I take a seat next to his bed and just look at him while holding his hand gently.
                          
"Oh Luke I'm so sorry. It's all my fault. I just wanted to see you again so badly and I didn't want to wait another month before you came home and now you're here" I say to him, I don't know if he can hear me but I have to say it now. I don't think I'm getting another chance to see him while he's in ICU and I don't think he's coming out any time soon.
                          
I take a beep breath before I start talking. "Luke, I think I love you. There I said it, I'm in love with you. I don't want to be just friends anymore, I've tried denying my feelings for you for so long now and I just can't keep it to myself anymore. From the first day we met I knew you were special and not like anybody else, but you and Ana were dating and stealing an other girls boyfriend is not my style, especially if she's my best friend. I thought that I'll get over my crush for you when you are on tour but it didn't happen, if any, my feeling actually became stronger" I'm letting everything out, I need to get this off my chest once and for all.
                          
"I don't know what I did for you to ignore me but whatever it is, I'm truly sorry. I would never do something purposefully to upset you, I like you to much. This is why I flew all the way to America, I wanted to tell you how I feel. Well now you know, I'm beyond I love with you Luke. I don't even know if you can hear me or if you want me anywhere near you after I caused you to be in hospital but I needed to tell you this."
                          
The nurse came in and gave me an apologetic smile "I'm so sorry but your times up, you have to leave now." Time passes so fast. "Okay I'll leave now" I told her before turning my attention to Luke again.
                          
"I'll see you again when I'm allowed to come and visit you. The nurse was kind enough to sneak me in for about 5 minutes. Goodbye Luke I hope to see you soon. I love you" I say as I give is hand a slight squeeze and I don't know if it's just my imagination but I could've sworn I felt him giving my hand a weak squeeze back.