Nightdreams

                                    

                                          
Ryan had to go for his dinner so I was left alone again. The time seemed to fly by but nonetheless I still had a lot of time left to fill. There isn't much to do in this place and I'm honestly so sick of playing the same old games in my same old phone. But now nobody trusts me to go out on my own, and it's not like I have any friends in here who are nice enough to take me anywhere.
                          
See, when we were moved I thought, since Jody and I were moving together and both left out best friends behind, that as friends we would get a lot closer. But it looks like the opposite has actually happened. She has turned into someone she's not and fallen into a bad crowd. And the worst part is she's fallen without me.
                          
Right now I'm feeling so alone I would settle for being a part of any crowd, as long as they don't go round stealing or murdering or something. It's a shame I got on the wrong side of Sabrina since we met, but I guess fate just didn't want us to be together. 
                          
Wow that sounded cheesy. I'm turning into Ryan! *sigh* I really miss him. Not just because he was pretty much the only person I got along with but also plainly because he made me happy. He got me out of these down and blue moods when nobody else could and he actually makes me a better person. Now I can only text him and he isn't always available. I just have to get used to sharing him now. I can do that, right?
                          
Besides, it won't be long before we are both out of care and living alone and can see each other whenever we want as well. Well, that's only if work and life don't get in the way. Which they will do, according to every adult, ever.
                          
But for as long as I can, I'm going to be doing everything I can to not fall into that trap. I'm promising myself to stay in touch with everyone and remain friends with as many people as possible, for as long as possible. 
                          
Having said that, we only moved away a couple of weeks ago and already I've abandoned the group chat. I mean I read the messages but never send any. And look where that's landed me.
                          
Harry, Tee and Carmen have all already left so I wont be seeing them again. And goodness knows who might be next. Heck it might even be me! But judging on the luck I have I'd say my chances are extremely low.
                          
Instead I can just live the painfully long remainder of my life in care, out in this tiny little bedroom where I spend all my time, alone.
                          
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I wake up and feel an instant sense of warm, before I've even opened my eyes. I can hear the faint sound of nearby breathing, and a body pressed closely against mine.
                          
As I peel my eyes open, I find myself lying on the sofa, covered by a soft blanket at Ashdene Ridge. Lying down next to Ryan, who is looking down at me.
                          
As much as I hate it, I know that this is a dream. It's not possible that this is reality and everything that has happened between now and the last time I fell asleep on the sofa next to Ryan, has been imagined in my mind.
                          
But for some reason, even with the knowledge that I'm asleep, I still feel comforted enough to be here. I'm not actually here. But for the Tim being I can pretend that I really am here, and just enjoy it, like I used to.
                          
"Hey gorgeous" he whispered in a tired voice. I watched as the corners of his mouth slowly formed that famous smirk that I love so much.
                          
"Hey" I whispered back, smiling. 
                          
"You fell asleep during the film. Again" he let out a small, lighthearted laugh. 
                          
"Sorry"
                          
"Don't be. As creepy as it sounds, I love watching you sleep. I love watching you're beautiful eyes as they slowly close. I love how you naturally lean on me and trust me enough to sleep in my arms."