Me

                                    

                                          
I wish you understood me, I really do 
But to wish you felt what I did, is something I can never wish on anyone 
It's like living hell honestly 
Voices in your head screaming constantly 
                          
Memories and emotions that suddenly hit 
You're drowning and spiralling down a pit 
To feel guilt for someone's death 
To feel anger that you're not someone else 
To feel sadness for yourself 
To feel pressure to do well 
                          
Everything just clawing at your brain
Like starved animals in a cage 
Waiting to be let out 
Ready to tear and ravage anything on the spot
                          
It's worse than alcohol burning your throat 
Or sun scorching your skin 
It's a knife wound over and over again
Puncturing your soul, your heart, every beating organ in you 
And even that would have been a lovelier touch
                          
So stop saying you understand, when you can barely survive a paper cut 
You're untouched and I'm beyond ruin 
I'm the moon, trying to find light in the darkness
While you're the sun. Trying to light an already lit world 
So don't try to say we are the same
                          
you can never understand what it's like 
For each breath to feel like death 
Suffocating you as your lungs expand
Even cigarette smoke is more liberating 
                          
Each step feels as if you're sinking
Since your heart is just stone cold steel 
And you just wonder how come you've not hit rock bottom 
How much worse can it all get
When a nightmare seems like a peaceful dream 
And death is the sweet luscious cream on top
                          
So, I'll spare you, don't try to understand me 
all you can do is stand and stare 
As Crimson run down my cheeks 
While salty tears wash yours

                          
My minds a mess now. I can't think straight