Chapter 30 - Why is it always me?

                                    

                                          
Chapter 30 - Why is it always me? 
                          
 The phone slipped out from my hands and fell to the floor. My hands were silent, voice numb.
                          
  What had I done? Maria ran away and it was my entire fault. I shouldn’t have kicked her out. Once again, I had everything again. There was nothing left in this world that I could do right. 
                          
Right now I had to forget everything though and go to Louis house to explain everything to him. It would be the right thing to do. I turned the TV off, grabbed my bag and headed out the door. 
                          
 I was just hoping Louis would even believe me…
                          
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I repeatedly pressed the doorbell, pacing back and forth on the porch of Louis’ house just waiting for him to answer.  I turned around and watched the door slowly open. Louis stood in front of me, his eyes red and jaw clenched. He didn’t look angry, he looked more upset.
                          
  "What are you here for now?" He said slowly, holding the door slightly open as if he were hinting that I wasn’t wanted here. 
                          
 "Louis please don't be mad, just hear me out alright?" 
                          
I was afraid he was going to end everything right there and shut the door in my face. But I had to give him more credit; he was of course my best friend. He nodded and held the door open wider, letting me step into the house.
                          
"This is all she said." He put one hand under his chin and handed me his phone showing me a test message from Maria. 
                          
 "I love you Louis. I'm sorry for everything that's happened. Rachel made me realize everything what I did, was wrong. I know I've done wrong a horrible deed that can never be undone. I made a huge mistake and I don’t have the courage to tell you what I have done in person and I can’t tell you by text either. I’ll let Rachel be the one to let you know what I have done. But the best thing for the both of us…is that we can’t be with each other anymore. No matter how much I want to. And god I want to be with you forever, but I have to do what’s best. I’m sure you’ll find a great girl. I love you very much Louis, please never forget that. After you find out I know your heart will be filled with nothing but hate for me but please, I’m begging you don’t forget what we once shared. Take care love. xx
                          
I held his phone tightly in my hands re reading every word.  Trying to figure out some sort of clue in them, but there was nothing.
                          
 "What did you say to her? I finally got her back and now she's leaving me again!" He pulled on his arm to turn me around and face him. I gasped pulling back. He gritted his teeth and as I looked down I noticed he had his palms clenched tightly. 
                          
 I had never seen him this angry before. I know he thought all of this was my fault but he really had no idea what Maria had done. But I couldn't tell him the truth either. I just didn't have the guts to tell him the truth about what happened to his baby. I had no right to get involved in a situation that was never mine to begin with. I just didn’t want to see him break down in front of me again.  But keeping it from him would be worse than not telling him. I had to tell Louis the truth. Till this day we had always remained honest with one another and that’s how it was going to be forever. l pushed him away slightly, and rubbed his shoulder calming him down. "I really don’t want to be the one to tell you, but basically I kicked Maria out of my house, because--"
                          
Before l could even finish, Louis threw my hands off of him. "You what?! We just lost our baby and you go on kicking her out of your house? The only place she has to stay? What the hell is wrong with you Rachel! How insensitive are you?"