04- Real Love

                                    

                                          
Shawn
                          
The situation I was in wasn't the best. I didn't really know how my daughter would take the news of me getting married. However, I wanted her to know. It wasn't something to be taken lightly because at some point she would be meeting Beyoncé. 
                          
Beyoncé. 
                          
Damn she was beautiful, but I'm pretty sure she's not my type. For God  sakes she's pregnant that alone should make me feel like I shouldn't marry her. But for some reason, it doesn't. It doesn't bother me in the least bit. She attracts me even more if I'm being honest. 
                          
Her beautiful face becoming more plump and her dimple when she smiles. The spread of her hips, the little waddle she- what the fuck and I thinking. I'm not even married to her yet and I can already see the things I like about her. 
                          
"Shawn, it's just business, not personal." I said to myself, earning a giggle from my daughter. I frowned turning around to look at her. 
                          
"You think that's funny?" I asked her. Clare didn't say anything instead she nodded her head yes and I walked to the side of her bed before sitting down in the chair that was there.
                          
She smiled at me and I leaned down to kiss her forehead. She rubbed the side of my face letting me know she appreciated my presence. 
                          
"Did you sleep well?" I asked. Clarissa nodded again and I sighed. 
                          
Some days were good and some weren't. Some days she was would talk and some days she wouldn't. Today was one of those days. I spent time asking her things mostly yes or no questions. I just want to make sure she was okay before I moved to what I originally wanted to talk to her about. 
                          
By the time I mustered up enough courage to talk to her about the TV had her attention. 
                          
"Clarissa." I said and then I waited for her to turn and look at me before I started again.
                          
"There  is something I need to talk to you about." Clarissa(pic attached) continued to pay attention and not say one word. I just took it as she was ready for me to say what I needed to say.
                          
"Clare you know I love you right?" Clarissa smiled and nodded her head which made me smile right back at her. 
                          
"I know for awhile we've been on our own and it hasn't been easy." I started because I didn't know what else to say other than to just tell the truth. 
                          
"Clare baby, daddy is getting married." I told her and she frowned. I don't think she knew what I was talking about so I explained. 
                          
"I met this lady, and she's really nice. So we are going to commit to each other."
                          
"I get a new mommy?" She asked me. Finally speaking to me the first time today. I smiled weakly not really wanting to explain that it was all fake. 
                          
"Not exactly, she'll be you're step mom." I told her and she smiled brightly but soon after she frowned again. 
                          
"What's wrong baby?" I asked. 
                          
"Will my real mommy come back?" Clare asked me. I honestly didn't know. I hadn't seen Christine in awhile. 
                          
"I don't know Clare, I really don't know." I told her honestly. She looked away and I knew she was contemplating on if she should cry or not but she didn't. It took awhile but she eventually turned to look back at me.