Chapter 4

                                    

                                          
I'm so sorry for making you guys wait, I had a whole lot of tests to study for and...I'm really sorry guys. But I hope you guys like it. Enjoy!
                          
~Shari! xx
                          
"Niall?"
                          
Id be the biggest lier in the world if I were to say I expected to see Niall Horan standing on the other side of my door. But I'm not going to lie and say: I did not expect this. At all.
                          
"Hi Harry." And at that, another something just kinda snaps in me. 
                          
"No don't 'Hi Harry' me. What makes you think you can come to my door and be nice while at school you watch as I get the life beaten out of me." I practically yell in his face.
                          
He sighs. "I know I have no right to be here...but I'm really sorry Harry. Please let me in so we can talk." His voice quivered a little.
                          
I thought about it. If I let him in that means two things. He will beat me for Zayn. OR..He will explain and ill give him another chance. We're going on the good side and taking a chance. As I think this I open the door some more and let him in. He lets out a sigh of relief and walks to the couch. I close the door and sit by him.
                          
"Okay look. The whole reason I ever really stood by Zayn all these years, was because...Zayn knows me and Liam like each other. And hes been trying to get us to.." He swallowed. "T-to become straight. He makes us go to parties and flirt with girls. Its actually kinda scary. He says that 'he hates gays and hopes that he never is f-friends with a gay person, b-because he thinks its wrong to love the same gender." I held in a gasp as a tear fell from his eye. "I love Liam. But I'm scared of Zayn. I just want our old best friend back. I'm s-so sorry Haz. I'm so sorry."
                          
Most people would call me crazy for doing what I did. But I hugged him close. Letting him sob loudly into my shirt. After a few 'I'm sorry's and 'Its okay's and 'you're forgiven's, later he finally stopped crying and it turned into sniffles.
                          
"I'm sorry too Niall. That Zayn has done all this. I don't know what happened to him. But you know you and Liam are welcome to be friends with me again. I would actually appreciate the company."
                          
Niall smiles and looks at me. "Really?"
                          
I smile back and nod. He grins and pulls me closer. I wince when something brushes my wrist. He suddenly pulls back and looks down at my arms.
                          
"H-harry do you..?" I don't think he could finish that sentence. I mean who could.
                          
After all hes been through I know it would only hurt him more if I lie. And after all he is my friend again. I should be able to trust him. Like old times. Right?
                          
I swallow and feel tears. I nod. Im going to lose him. Just after I got him back. Hes going to call me a emo and walk out the door. But...He doesnt. He lightly grabs my wrist and pulls up my sleve revealing my biggest secret to, yet another person. I shiver as he lightly brushes his fingers over my newest cuts.
                          
"Harry, you need to tell someone about thins." My eyes widen at his words.
                          
"No, no Niall please don't tell anyone about this. Please. If you do, you will lose any chance of regaining my trust." I warn and beg at the same time. 
                          
He sighs. "Okay fine. I wont tell anyone."
                          
I nod and get up to stretch. "You wanna watch a movie? You know, like old times..." I ask.
                          
He nods. "Okay since your the guest, pick a movie, and ill get snacks." He nods again in agreement, and I turn to walk into the kitchen.
                          
I grab a bag of chips and a bag of popcorn, throwing it into the microwave and putting the chips into a bowl. I grab a small bag of candy, and two cups. I grab a two leader soda from the fridge and walk over to the microwave grabbing the popcorn, soda, cups, chips and candy, and walk back out to the living room, to see Niall Laying on the floor with pillow and a blanket, with Friday the 13th Part two playing.
                          
(A/n: Sorry guys I just needed a movie, and one of my favorites is Friday the 13th!)
                          
"Because you would totally pick a scary movie." He stuck his tongue out at me making me chuckle.
                          
"I happen to like Jason and its not really a scary movie, if you think about it."
                          
I shrug. "It really isn't."
                          
He laughs and pours a cup of soda for himself while grabbing the bowl of popcorn. I smile knowing I'm not going to get it back as I lay down. Just like old times.
                          
...
                          
"Hey, so I'm going to go home before my mum gets worried. See you later Haz!" Niall says after two movies.
                          
I smile and wave goodbye to him. I look down at the mess, thinking ill clean it up in a few, before running to the bathroom. I look down at my wrists. I shake my head. No. I have Niall back. That's a good thing. And I only cut when I feel like shit. I then look up and I suddenly feel dizzy, looking at myself in the mirror.
                          
Next thing I know, I'm doubled over the toilet having all that food come back up. I knew I wasn't sick. Its just my stomach isnt used to having to digest a whole lot of food. Its used to having it come back up. So that's what it does. It comes back up.
                          
Well so much for my moment of happiness...
                          
An hour later I'm laying in bed, sobbing. I keep asking myself his I let this happen? How I let all the words and actions get to me? How I let all the cuts happen? And how I went from a happy, jumpy, giggly, boy. To a cutting, sobbing, mess. I wish I could go back and stop myself from coming out. But I couldn't. Which only made me cry more. 
                          
But I have to stay strong. If not for myself, then for my mum and sister. Like I promised. I always keep a promise.
                          
Except the ones to myself.
                          
I'm really sorry guys. Ill update when I can. Which should be tomorrow and if not then, in Friday. Friday for sure! Well comment what you think. Thank you for the votes in both this and Its Getting Harder. You guys are amazing!
                          
~Shari!! xx 
                          
:) <3