yes more headcanons suck it

                                    

                                          
um hi ive been gone for a bit many things happened and just to get it out of the way the incorrect grammar here is intended ok im trying to get an aesthetic going on over here and yes everything here is lopsided to give vintage value bc I'm classy ok (as I title the chapter with the words of, and I quote, "suck it" o well rip)

                          
OK FUCK SORRY THIS IS SO LATE AD HELL AND WEVE BEEN GONE FOR YEARS LITERALLY KMS IM SO SORRY ABOUT THIS LETS GET WRITING DO I DONT BECOME MORE DESPICABLE THAN I ALREADY AM
                          
OK THIS IS LIKE A MONTH LATER AGAIN IM SURE THIS IS CONFUSING FFFFFF IM USELESS
                          
Also btw I have like zero time ever anymore apparently now so this is going to be short but sweet (NOT TOTALY NOT OK THIS IS OVER A THOUSAND WORDS YOU FUCKIG DUMB ASS SOPHIE DJDJDJJDJ SOPHIE=FUCK NUT) but cute but funny but also a complete mess I send my regards
                          
Now I'm going to be honest right now it's April 21st what the fuck happened I'd rather not say but I im back and shouldn't be giving excuses thanks guys

                          
inside jokes/funny details


                          
Kisame:
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
> by this point you two only ever talk unless you two are laughing which has basically become 74.473857% of your lives I guess whoopee
>whenever you text his name autocorrects to kiss me so his contact is "kissyme 🦈" (shark emoji)
>it's become a known fact that movie nice is always thursday, date night saturday (usually ends how the 500k special would end ;))) yes i make innuendos sue me bitch i dare u) and it wasn't even intended so bonus points
>he likes to call u flappy bird bc u flop on dat dick doe (BWAHAHAHAH i I have no friends)
                          
Itachi:
*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*
(kaOmoJIS BItcH)
✌︎you both like to use emoticons in your conversations with each other even if it's shit like "I'm gonna go take a piss cover for me" or something idk
✌︎your most commonly used are:
☝︎ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) *the lenny*
☝︎ಠ_ಠ *the bitch you did not just do that/constipation face*
☝︎ʕʘ‿ʘʔ um I think this is another constipated one
☝︎ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ tbh im not even sure what to call this anymore
☝︎(΄◉◞౪◟◉｀) ok the point is that 42% of Americans don't get enough fiber and therefore it's hard for u guys to poop ok end of story (sorry for people who don't live in the US! My regards heh..)
✌︎so neither of you are really completely direct people so when you get the chance you guys take the time to, instead of turn around and talk to each other, text each other passages from your favorite books and try and guess where they're from. yeah the modern age of the atomic bomb wowowow yes
✌︎dont tell anyone but one time you got a vid of him dressed up in a weasel costume doing the flop and saved it in the archives of your camera roll so you can't delete it
✌︎you watch it whenever you can and show it to everyone neither of them want to see it nor have the other see it
✌︎you both role play but you guys don't know that the other does so you keep making weird excuses to keep role playing without actually saying ur role playing
☝︎"uM IM WAshInG THe cLOthEs" *in the car*
☝︎"oh that I'm just um downloading an app that tells you if there if there is a kangaroo within a four foot radius of you"
☝︎"that? it's just something that I got from a convention about massaging your genitals to relieve stress oh god that sounded wrong please just forget everything that I've said for the past 43 seconds including now"
☝︎"role play?!????:$:$:$. no of course not that is for *ahem* children i say no role play is, um, what even is role play huh? haha that's like saying 2 2 is 5 when its obviously 73.498 just humbug" no u r not ebenezer scrooge u beaver nugget
                          
Hidan:
,',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',
-he likes to call your period his "special monthly sacrifice" but likd why the fuck would he but why would he not too
-he silently nuts every time you sneeze bc like weird fetish or something????????? (Rhia can u pls add that to the kinky fetishes and note to put that in as a thought for our lemon pls thank u frand)(yas will do)
-he has actually taken the time to make a ten hour loop of your 5 different types of consecutive sneezes which is actually terrifying like ok thank u psycho you may leave (jk jk don't kill me hidan fans I'm just here to write fanfics)
-you two have also silently decided that if you ever become presidents or something like that idea/a person of power you would change the national anthem to cupcakke deepthroat (song above^^)
-you two have put aside an entire bank account of left over change and pennies, you have approximately $937.42 and once you reach 1,000 the both of you are going to buy every single beer can/bottle in the liquor store and stock in memes
                          
Kakuzu
|$|$€|$€£|$€£¥|    ༎ຶོ ༎ຶོ    |¥£€$|£€$|€$|$|
 people seem to forget he's about 383849393884x your size so everything is awkward but comfortable for some reason idk how that works, you two were just meant to be I suppose
 because of the size difference he often makes dick jokes comparing your sizes. Surprisingly they're actually v dirty but you don't complain
 one time you were on Instagram and saw one of those things that were like "dm me a color" and had descriptions. Blue meant I love you so you screenshotted and sent him the pic, ever since at random times you just text each other out of nowhere "BLUEEEEE"
 you often find yourself randomly screaming the lyrics to "stitches" by Shawn Mendez. You know why.
                          
Deidara
•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•
♪in your free time you like to braid his hair so more often than not he looks like goldie locks
♪did someone say paint party? Or was it pain party I'm genuinely not sure
♪more than once a week do you have  re-paint the walls???? This bitch doesn't know how to remember how much clay he keeps in his room???? I'm???
♪one time you convinced him to dress up for Halloween but he didn't know what you picked out for him, so he ended up dressing like Eli Ayase from Love Live! And you posted all the pics to Instagram and everything 
                          
Sasori
✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿
>you know that thing where guys take this wood stump thing and a chainsaw and within seconds carve this beautiful wooden masterpiece? He did that but he carved a statue of you and now it sits in your room
>you dyed your hair red to match his.  You ended up messing up the color and turned your hair bright orange
>when he gets mad he has the same voice as techna from winx but he messed up the pronunciation so everyone now calls him technut
>official sinnamon roll but not really
                          
Tobi
〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰
~HIS NAME ALWAYS AUTOCORRECTS TO TONI HAHASHHAAH SO YOU THINK OF HIM AS TONY FROM 13RW AND TEASE HIM FOR HIS ALTERNATE NATURE BEING GAY LOLOLOLOL I have no life
~one time you baked brownies but it was 4/20 so you didn't know it but pein put some of his personal supply in it
~unknowingly tobi ate a full half of the batch and started trippin real bad
~he tried to make you a replica of his mask but in a cute version kind of thing but didn't know how to do it so he took a fucking lollipop, cut a hole in it, licked the other side and stuck it to your face.
~because of the stickiness of the lollipop you actually ended up fucking up your eyebrows oop
~you call him your sugar daddy????????????? Bc me too
                          
Pein
™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™
💠"ok, but holy hell does this guy know how to work a dic--"
💠so you called a cousin who called a cousin who called his friend, who called a couple dozen cousins cause it doesn't end which got you !!weed!!
💠because of the plethora of weed jokes you made he decided he would try it out, turned out he afterwards believed it to "elevate the practicality of his chakra use".
💠he really likes it now
💠his name autocorrects to "prom" (it actually does ngl)
💠one time you were texting him and meant to say "newborn babies are so cute!" But it autocorrected to "naked otters are so cute!" For some reason is he looked it up and saw pictures of small gay dicks
                          
Suigetsu
༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄
♡his name doesn't even autocorrect it's kinda sad
♡his teeth can actually regrow like a fr shark it's v scary
♡he's the dankest memer anybody knows
♡he actually invented the "yea boi" meme
♡one time while you two were texting he sent a picture of his hair wet bc he knows you think it's sexy when he does that messy cute look w his hair and you panicked and was originally going to say "(つД')ノ" but accidentally hit he one next to it which was "(΄◉◞౪◟◉｀)" so you don't like to use emojis anymore
♡bahHAHAHA HES SO BAD AT SPELLING AND GRAMMAR HE LITERALLY SAID "goed" INSTEAD OF WENT




                          
hey fucker. nice to see you again it's been like a full four months sorry I've been fucking awol lately ihad literally 0 motivation and completely forgot that i had a life oop
                          
the past couple months have straight up been keep up w school work come home binge Netflix and eat paninis
                          
so you could definitely say life lately has been one big "oop" yes an oops without an s it's just devastating
                          
anyways enjoy more will be coming out soon and they will be acTUAL SCENARIOS SOPHIE CANT FUCKING WRITE ANYMORE WOWOWOWOOWW
                          
so yep sayonara I love you all