CHAPTER 35 - Worry

                                    

                                          
Since the day Seungri forget Daesung,nothing in the house had came out in a good things.Daesung can't no longer smile and evernight he will check up on Seungri in his room secretly then he will be in tears in his room blaming himself for being bad enough that is why Seungri just easily forget him.Daesung feel like a stranger with Seungri even if he tried to smile and laugh with Daesung like they had known each other for a long time.Daesung can't accept the facts that he was no longer in the same journey with his beloved maknae Seungri.
                          
One day,Seungri decided to knock on Daesung door and he open it up to be shock that Seungri was standing infront of his room smiling at him.
                          
"Can I come in Daesung hyung?" Seungri said still in the same tune he always used but it feel foreign in Daesung ears and heart but he ignored it and invite the boy in.
                          
"Can I help you?" Daesung ask sitting on the bed beside Seungri that was smiling at him since they meet just now.
                          
"I'm here..to say I'm sorry...For..forgetting you.." Seungri said looking at his palm feeling sad.
                          
Daesung just look down feeling hurt but he know he can't blame Seungri,it wasn't his faults.It was fate.Fate decide to be this cruel to everyone.
                          
"Its..alright..as long as you are healthy..I'm..fine...I just want you to know that I loved you so much as my maknae...." Daesung said smiling at him but his eyes full of tears.So this is the pain of saying farewell.
                          
"I don't remember you at all,but deep in my heart,I know you are a nice and lovely hyung...You always care for other and you are known as the heart warming smiling angel right?Jiyong hyung told me that." Seungri said smiling and Daesung just afford to smile.
                          
Since then day he forget Daesung,Seungri was feeling so down.So empty.So useless.He feel so bad for being the reason all of them was crying and being sad especially Daesung cause he had somehow forgot about him.And now he was afraid when the next day come,he scared that he might forgot others especially Jiyong.He can't afford to hurt any of them anymore.He being like this was sad enough for them.He know he was dying,but he can't do anything.
                          
He walk into Top room and saw he was writing something on his table then he look at Seungri.
                          
"Oh..should I came in later hyung?" Seungri said feel like he disturb him but Top shake his head then closed the book and invite him to come in.
                          
"How are you feeling today Ri?" Top ask smiling and Seungri chuckle.
                          
"I feel like meeting a doctor right now." Seungri said.
                          
"Well not really,there will not exist a doctor as handsome like me so be grateful to meet me." Top act then both of them laugh.
                          
"Things had gone fast right hyung?" Seungri said suddenly and Top can just nodded.
                          
"And thinking that one day Big Bang will be four without me.Isn't it look nice?No more the blackhole or troublemaker Seungri.." He said looking at him palm lines while Top lifted his head up and look at him.
                          
"Don't say that..You know Big Bang is not Big Bang when we are not five.We are always five." Top said trying to make Seungri realize his present in the group is important.
                          
"Soon it will be four.." Seungri said showing Top the facts that he was going to die and he dislike it.So much.
                          
"We will not be back on stage if it left with four,cause it was not Big Bang.." Top said not agree to move on if there only four people left in the group.
                          
"Just promise me hyung?If I really forget about everything,just announce to the world that I had already die...I don't want to show everyone this side of me.Look stupid and dumb enough.I even forget how to use the chopstick in the right way.." Seungri said chuckle but tears was falling.
                          
"No matter what people said about you,you are still my precious maknae,Lee Seung Hyun,my little Seunghyun remember ok?I love you so let's stop being sad alright?" Top said hugging Seungri and he hugged him back closing his eyes.
                          
'I'm scared I will never remember anyone,even myself.' 
                          
After talking to Top,Seungri walk toward the kitchen to meet Youngbae chopping the onion.
                          
"Are you cooking hyung?" Seungri said smiling.
                          
"Yeah...Do you want anything?I'm making some spicy ramyun if you want,I can cook more.." Youngbae said and smile when Seungri happily nodded his head.After the food is ready,he served it for Seungri and he then sit beside him picking up his chopstick then he eat.But he stop munching when Seungri was looking down to his plate,look sad.
                          
"What happen?Why aren't you eating Ri?" Youngbae ask worry but then he point to the chopstick and Youngbae sigh sad but he still keep on smiling.
                          
"It's alright...let me feed you instead..ok?" Youngbae offered then Seungri smile and he enjoy the food together with Youngbae laughing with so many jokes make by Youngbae.Its like time stop.Both of the, forget about all the sorrow,sadness and live in the moment for real.
                          
After helping Youngbae with the dishes Seungri went into his room and walk toward his desk then he wrote letters.He wrote them one by one before sealing every single of them in each envelope neatly and write Kwon Jiyong,Dong Youngbae,Kang Daesung,Choi Seung Hyun on each papers front then he hide everything in his desk and he sighed out heavily.Now he want to meet Jiyong,the last.His last one.
                          
Maybe if my heart stop beating,it won't be this pain.
                          
TO BE CONTINUED.
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