"Maybe I do."
Maybe I do. Maybe he does.
Maybe. I hate that word - I hate the uncertainty of it all. How something cannot be decided upon, how it just sits on top of the border yes or no. I hate how it is neither true or false, how it does not recognize where it belongs.
It's ironic how I silently diss on the word maybe, complaining about how it is unsure of where it belongs when I am completely clueless about where I currently belong.
"You can crash with me." I looked at him in incoherence. He quickly adds that I should stay until I finally get back on my feet and all. I wish he didn't continue it, that would've made me feel less of a burden.
"Well, don't you live with anybody else?" I asked him, muttering, hoping that he wouldn't hear but also wishing that he would so my guilt would be temporarily soothed. He says he lives on his own now. Relief flowed through my veins.
"My flat is small, though. Don't expect much." He smiled at me, signaling me to his car. He had this blue Wigo.
"Don't you have a girlfriend?"
"We are not there yet, E!" He laughed. It was stupid for me to even ask, but I wanted to make sure that I wouldn't interfere with any of his shit. I'm such a great person. I know, I know.
"Well, I just wanna know 'cause it'd be so embarrassing if I would just appear and she'd be there and become suspicious of me."
"First of all, E, 'she' is non-exsistent. So, unless you see ghosts and shit, there is no one in my house. I do date, though."
I just nod. It's not like I had any plans whatsoever to bring back the past.
We both agreed that we were a bit peckish so we drove by Mcdonald's to get some food. He and I used to drive by this exact branch right after school then head to the South Shore Beach to eat there. Sand would fill up my skirt pockets and sometimes we would go for a dip. It was kind of a tradition for him and I. This place sure is nostalgic.
When we entered the store, we were greeted by Mr. Parker. He was the guard of this store for God knows how long. It's actually kind of good to see him again.
"Hey, Ellie. Long time no see!" Mr. Parker placed his hands on my shoulder, giving me a tight squeeze. "Got some bangs, I see. Say, how long has it been since you came around, huh? Two, three years?"
"Three." I smiled cheekily. Mig was already in front of the cashier. When I approached somebody suddenly screamed, "GOOD MORNING MA'AM. WELCOME TO MCDONALD'S. MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER?"
I was so shocked that I even took a step backwards. I looked at him and said, "Easy on the greetings, I'm not a mountain away." Mig laughed and the cashier apologized and explained that he was new.
We ordered the usual and the funny thing was we even almost said it together.
"Two big mac's please, XL fries with extra salt and two monster sized berry floats. Thanks." The cashier repeated the order and went on to prep our food. Mig and I stayed at one side of the counter.
"You never really came back here for three years?"
"Well, it made no sense to do so..." He kinda looked away when I said that, "Because there was like a Mcdonald's just at the corner of my house."
He didn't say anything after that. I started to feel tense due to the very, very awkward situation I happen to be in. I never really wanted to come back here because I'd risk being seen by familiar faces, which isn't what I want at all. I have a reputation, a really fucked up one. Plus, there really was a Mcdonald's just around the corner.
"Here you go sir, two big mac's, two berry floats and extra large fries with three extra salt packets."
"I need one more salt." Mig plainly said. I think I pissed him off because usually he's very nice to servers or waiters or anyone he encounters. He used to be, I guess.
The cashier gave him his extra salt and instead of going to the beach, we went to his place. It was a nice studio. The living area was quite spacey.
"I have a playstation and some movies. This is a mini fridge under the TV. Please use coasters, please."
"You sound like Mariel." I laughed. He did sound alot like his mom. I mean, it's his mom. Right?
I followed him to the bathroom and he set some ground rules; no splasing, no wetting the window, no touching his stuff, no using solid soap, etc. His bathroom was fucking amazing. He had pearly white tiles and a ivory tub. His mirror was a fucking gem.
"This is the bedroom. I'll be staying up there and you will be staying here," He opened the door to a small space below his loft bed. It was a cute room where there was a small flatscreen and a matress. "This is where Andrea stays when she's in town."
"I miss Andrea! Oh my gosh, how is she?" He fixed the matress a bit, making the sheets reach the corners.
"She's fine. She's in law school." I remember before, Andrea always braided my hair. When I was about fourteen, I had long hair and I really didn't know how to style it. She was in senior high then. She would always braid my hair when I went to their house. French braids, dutch braids, even the Katniss braid - you name it, she can probably do it. She made me feel so pretty, just like her baby brother.
"Thanks Mig. You've done so much." I said. He looked at me and I couldn't help but smile. He did too but quickly left. He was already up in his bed when he said, "I'm leaving later so make yourself at home."
"Okay."
