Prologue

                                    

                                          
Hide. Conceal don't feel. This isn't real. This isn't happening. Happy place, Elli, happy place. Oh, who am I kidding? I don't even know what happiness feels like anymore. I'm used to the aching sadness dawn brings, the loneliness that's guaranteed at dusk, and  the tears and grief in the middle of the night. The rocking of the bed, back and forth, back and forth; but you can't speak up. 
                          
Today's different in many ways. For starters, it's bright outside. Usually the violence begins at sundown, when the neighbours pull their blinds to, and David returns from 'work'. We all know he lost his job ages ago, and he now spends his days at the local pub, gambling and drinking our money away. That isn't the worst of it, though. I can deal with the hunger, the constant stress my mother goes through of never knowing when our next meal will be, or where it'll come from. If I had it my way, I'd skip the limited food we have. It doesn't matter how I feel, and anyway, David's right; I'm big. Besides, Matthew (or Matt as we all call him), my 5 year old brother, and Primrose (also known as Prim), my 3 year old sister, deserve it more than I do. I have to look after them now I'm a big girl. 
                          
Sometimes the responsibility is overwhelming, but if I don't clothe them, and if I don't make sure they at least have something to eat, then no one else will. Mommy's usually sat in the same chair in the living room, staring out of the window with that glazed over expression. Dead to the world, that's what Nanny used to call her when she came to help us out. But that didn't last. One day she just didn't come, and she didn't return the next day, or the day after that, or the day after that, either. And slowly, all hope I had began to fade. 
                          
"Elliana?" David calls up the stairs. I can almost hear the smile he has plastered on his face. A sinister, diabolical smile. Prim whimpers from beside me, and I cradle her closer to my chest, as the footsteps get closer. My brother is under the bed parallel to the one Prim and I are under, and I can make out the faint outline of his body in the darkness. "Elli? Where are you, sweetie? Since you're 7 now, Daddy wants to play a big girls game with you. Something me and Mommy play every night." Squeezing my eyes shut, I don't even dare to breathe as I hear those heavy footsteps getting closer still. But they're followed by lighter footsteps, and my eyelids snap open. 
                          
Instantly, I notice Matty has made a run for it, unaware of how close David is. I watch, helplessly as my stepfather lurches at him, and for the first time, I see the glistening knife behind his back. 
"Matty! He's got a knife!" I scream, jumping out from my hiding place, sending Prim into hysterics. Flinging myself over him, I scream once more as the blade slices through my thigh, and pain immediately sets in as the knife is dragged out of my muscle, and held up again. Vaguely, I notice Prim is hyperventilating in the corner, head in hands as she screams over and over again, taking in shallow gasps of air. The knife is plunged into a body again. But this time, it isn't mine, and it isn't into a thigh. It's Matt's. And it was aimed at his heart. 
                          
I watch as the blood drains from his limp body, staining the floor, and myself a bright red. I barely have time to act, before my sickened, knife-wielding stepdad turns on my defenceless baby sister, and all that can be heard are her deafening screams, mixed with my own, and the faint sound of sirens blaring in the background. But it'll be too late.