Help (Zen X Reader)

                                    

                                          
Help
                          
Zen X Reader

                          
You haven’t seen him in weeks, but it felt like months. How could you see him? It hurt too much. But that was the point of  this . It was supposed to make it stop hurting. But all it did was make you feel numb and then when it wore off, the hurt just came back. Throbbing in your head, your chest; everywhere.
                          
Zen has tried to call you when he wasn’t busy, but you never answer them. He called to check up on you after your accident. Zen didn’t want to leave you. You had barely been released from the hospital when he had to leave. You didn’t expect him to stay instead of touring with his job. And he didn’t stay.
                          
Zen was coming home today for a short break. Zen said he wanted to see you because he want spend time with you. He just wanted to see you.
                          
You finally told him okay.
                          
Zen came over late that night. He let himself in like he usually does. You didn’t mind. You gave him a key to your place for a reason. He found you sitting at the dining room table, holding your legs to your chest. Zen greeted you with kiss before sitting down next to you.
                          
“I missed you, jagiya.” His was voice soft and stressed, but you could feel the love behind it. “You looked tired. Have you been sleeping well?”
                          
Zen ran his fingers through your messy hair. You bit your lip and closed your eyes, feeling the tears forming and your chest aching.
                          
You have to tell him.
                          
“O-oppa..” you choked out. You opened your eyes and felt your cheeks getting soaked by your crying. “I need h-help.”
                          
The concerned look on Zen’s face worsened and he caressed your cheek. “I’m right here, ________. I can help you. What do you need?”
                          
You pulled away from his touch and bend down, reaching for your bag. You pulled it up to the table and dumped out the contents. Yellow and white bottles fell and rolled out on to the marble counter top along with loose pills of medication.
                          
“Jagiya.. what is all this?”
                          
“Zen Oppa..” you cried. “I can’t stop.” You began to cry more as you dropped the bag hard on the floor. “It was my fault. I deserve to suffer and die.”
                          
“Don’t say that!”
                          
Zen saw you reaching for a pill on the table, but he pushed the pills and bottles off and they all went crashing to the ground. He pulled you into his arms tight and you sobbed in his chest.
                          
“I was the one who made her go out that night. I was the one that made her drive because I hated driving in the rain. If it wasn’t for me, she’s be here..”
                          
“Shhh..” Zen kept a strong arm wrapped around your waist as the other patted your head before holding the back of your neck. “It’s not your fault your sister died. It’s the fucked up drunk driver’s fault. He was stupid enough to get wasted, drive in the rain and not turn on his headlights. It was his fault for not being responsible.”
                          
“But I—”
                          
“Jagiya,” Zen held you out at arms length and brushed the tears away. “That was not your fault. You have to know that. She wouldn’t want you to react like this. She’d be happy that you survived and are still living. She wouldn’t want you to harm yourself with these pills.”
                          
“But it hurts so much, oppa. I just want the pain to go away.”
                          
“I know. I wanna take your pain away. There are other ways than this.”
                          
“Please, help me?”
                          
“I will. I promise.”