Chapter 26: One Year!

                                    

                                          
David's POV:
                          
After the trip to Vernon Hills with Liza, our one year anniversary was creeping up. Actually, it is one day away from our one year anniversary. I want to surprise Liza with something romantic, but at the same time I don't want to. I decided to ask Dom and Jason.
                          
I walked out of my room and grabbed my camera. I found Dom and Jason talking, and I sat down next to them and pressed record.
                          
"So it's my one year anniversary coming up with Liza, right? What do I get her?" I asked Dom.
                          
"What if tomorrow morning you're like, hey babe listen, I slept with someone the other day, but like, I didn't feel anything," Dom answered.
                          
"Uh huh." I nodded.
                          
"And I feel like we're a lot closer together now." Dom finished.
                          
"No!" I laughed. "For my one year anniversary gift with Liza, I should cheat on her?"
                          
"Yeah." Dom smiled.
                          
"That would work." Jason piped up.
                          
"That could work?" I chuckled.
                          
"I had a similar idea." Jason admitted.
                          
"No you didn't!" I laughed. "Jason, what's your idea?"
                          
"Ok, uh, a first idea, a horse."
                          
"Get her a horse?!" I was tearing up from the hilarious answers that Dom and Jason were giving me.
                          
"Four hundred pigeons. Give her a tour of a slaughter house. Time shared in a lepo. Write her a poem about her feet. Make her a special batch of lean." Jason offered.
                          
"What did you get your wife for your anniversary?" I asked.
                          
"Divorce papers."
                          
"You know how you can hire those topless maids? So what if she walks in the house and there's like, 3 topless maids, and they're like rubbing-" Dom chimed in.
                          
"No, Jesus! This has to romantic." I interrupted.
                          
"That's pretty romantic." Both of them agreed.
                          
"Jason!"
                          
"It might get her going." He smirked.
                          
"How would that possibly get her going?" I exasperated.
                          
"A clean house. What more could you want?" Jason joked.
                          
"No!" I laughed.
                          
"Ok, flowers." Jason said. "Just real simple, we can get a ton of them at the cemetery. Won't cost you anything."
                          
"No, we're not stealing! You want me to steal from the cemetery?"
                          
"Yeah!"
                          
"I think that's pretty good, man. Especially the Jewish people area, they got good flowers." Dom agreed.
                          
"No."
                          
"How about a python?" Jason asked.
                          
"You want me to get Liza a python? Jason, are you stupid?"
                          
"Yeah I am."
                          
"You know what, that could work." I turned off the camera, and went to go grab my laptop. I searched on where to find pythons in Los Angeles, and I wasn't surprised when I found quite a few places. After a couple hours, I returned home with a large brown bag containing a python. I took it and put it in my room, careful not to let it escape. I was so excited for tomorrow.
                          
I took Jason to Liza's house, and I told him to hide along with the python. Inevitably, Liza saw Jason, but to our luck, she didn't see the snake.
                          
I cornered Liza in her room, and I told her that she needed to be blindfolded.