BSM: He likes your twin more ( Michael part 3)

                                    

                                          
(Not edited so let me know of any errors)
                          
Today is y/n's funeral. I'm completely shut down, my body feels numb. I was going to have a speech but I stopped talking since that day, it won't be permanent but I just can't talk at all. There really is nothing to say besides the things I wish I could to y/n, but that's obviously not an option. I'm trying not to blame myself for all of this, I wasn't, but it breaks me to know I was a key factor. She jumped the day I was picking fun at her grades. The day I said something terrible. "You were born.", I said it like it was an inconvenience to me; like it was an insult. But I didn't mean a word I said that day, like I had explained before I only said those things so she wouldn't turn out like me in school. Everything else that she does like me was completely her personality, not mine. I knew that. 
As everyone one went up and gave their speeches I couldn't help but soak in the silence instead, I tuned out of everything. I wanted to pay my own tribute to y/n. In my head I conjured up old memories from when we were younger. I pictured the day we were at the beach, she was three years old. I remember I turned for two seconds to set down our towels and she already took off to the water. "Y/n! You need your floaties!" I yelled to her. She just giggled and ran her little legs even faster. Oh it's game in now. I chased after her and just as the water reached her hip I scoop her up, only to be pushed down my a wave. Since I myself was under I knew y/n was to, I slowly stood up expecting y/n to cry but she instead began squealing in laughter. "Again Mikey, again!" She giggled and I began to laugh too. That day was a great day. After my mind played through all of my memories I knew I had to say something. I got up and walked to the podium to say my eulogy. I looked around at everyone who came and they all had tears in their eyes, they could probably tell I was broken.
"Y/n- my little sister was an absolute joy, always up for anything. What's happened will always stay with me because I know I had something to do with it, I didn't treat 
y/n like a brother should. And I will always regret th-that." I stop myself as I began to cry. I couldn't finished my speech so I just sat back in my chair and tried to muffle my sobs with the sleeve of my suit. Luke patted my back as mum just held onto me. Everyone was in tears. I just needed this day to be over. 
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40 minutes later and it is. I found myself the last one standing at her grave. 
'Here lies Y/f/n, an angel in the sky'. 
I kissed the stone, not trusting my words, I chose actions to show her that I loved her. I lingered a little longer and ran my finger over the engrave meant in the stone before walking towards the car where Maggie and mum were waiting. I got in and as we drove off I spoke to her on last time. 
"Rest easy bug, I love you. That will never change." 

                          
I don't know how I feel about this chapter but I hope it's okay. Thank you guys so much for 1k reads, love ya❤️❤️